Splitting Hearts
by Iria the Seeker
Summary: Natsuki meets the sinfully seductive Shizuru Fujino. Even though Natsuki has feelings for her she can’t help but sense something is a bit off. On her way to end the relationship, Natsuki goes to her house only to meet…another Shizuru... WAIT! YOUR WHAT!
1. Shard of Doubt

**Disclaimer:** I…I…I DON'T OWN MAI-HIME OR ANY OF ITS CHARECTERS!! OH GOD!! Cries desperately, as those around her try to comfort her

I'm pretty sure I don't have to say this but just to be safe.

**WARNING:** This is a yuri fanfic as in girl/girl paring if you are offended by this please don't read this story (Of course, I'm sure any person actually offended by this wouldn't be here since the entirety of this section is mainly… yes that's right…Y-U-R-I.)

**Summary: **One day, Natsuki meets the mysterious and sinfully seductive Shizuru Fujino. Even though Natsuki has feelings for her she can't help but sense something is a bit off. On her way to end the relationship, Natsuki goes to her house only to meet…another Shizuru Fujino? Wait, WHAT?! They look exactly the same so why do they have different names!?

Hi everyone! Just want to say that this is my FIRST TIME EVER writing something! I'm excited but nervous all at the same time. I really hope you all like reading it as much as I liked writing it. (Even if it was a pain in some areas ;;) There's still more chaps to come I just hope I can keep it up. Any tips and constructive criticism are welcome of course. Please no flames… have mercy on a newbie lol.

Splitting Hearts

Chapter One: Shard of Doubt

It was a sunny afternoon, bright and cheerful, expressing the exact opposite of what Natsuki was feeling. She sat anxiously in a street café, constantly twisting and stretching the napkin on her table. _When are they going to be here? _Having never been in her current circumstances before, the raven-haired girl really needed her friend's guidance.

_  
_She was conflicted. She had met an amazing woman and now she was staring to have her doubts about her. Lost in thought, she didn't register her friends sitting themselves down in the opposite chairs of her table.

"Natsuki…Natsuki…" Mai looked at her troubled friend curiously, with an eyebrow raised she turned her attention over to Nao. And being ever impatient, Nao decided to wake the biker from her daydream.

"NATSUKI!!"

"AAHHH! HEY! What are you trying to do give me a heart attack!?" Natsuki grabbed her chest to emphasize her point. Then noticing who they were, relaxed, easing back into her chair.

"Well you had your head too far up your ass to hear us." Nao deadpanned as she picked up the café menu. Mai sweat dropped at her associate's antics.

"Hehe in any case this has got to be serious, if you're this distracted."

"Yeah, thanks for coming guys…" Natsuki's anxiety etched itself on her face. Her shoulders drooped, and her eyes became distant.

"Whoa, no death glare, no angry come back, your right this is definitely serious."

"You could have at least given me some warning though. I had to ask Mikoto to go grocery shopping just to keep her busy. I'm sure we all know how that's going to turn out." Natsuki gave her friend a small smile also knowing the outcome of that situation.

"Sorry Mai, I just really needed you guys here…" Natsuki turned her head toward Nao, giving her an expectant look, knowing that she most likely kept her from something as well.

"Me? I have a life, pure and simple. This better be good, mutt." With a slight laugh the raven-haired chose to get to her point.

"Guys, I…I need your help…"

--

Anyone would say that their meeting was a normal one, but to Natsuki it was anything but that.

Being a senior at Fuka University she would ride her Ducati annually toward the school every morning wearing her leathers and helmet. Then she would attend class avoiding the amorous glances and groups of gossiping girls. It annoyed her to no end but she was lucky enough to have good friends attending with her, to help her overcome that drawback. Natsuki's life had been a road of ups and downs. The downs being especially miserable. Finally, she had a normal, reliable life and it was what she wanted. Ironically for all the years it needed to make that life, it only took one moment to turn it upside down.

One fateful day, she stopped at a light around the corner from her school and noticed something that took her breath away. Through the window of a coffee shop across the street she saw the most captivating beauty she had ever been graced to see. Long chestnut hair cascaded down a lithe neck and rested on delicate shoulders. Her pearly skin. Her picturesque features. Her dazzling figure. God, she was flawless. And her eyes deep in thought only added to her beauty. But she wasn't just beautiful… she was gorgeous.

What she felt just by looking at the girl flashed some red flags. The powerful need to know this person and the possible changes, good or bad, that it might cause worried her, but for some reason it didn't seem to alter her reaction after seeing that mystifying beauty.

Every day afterwards, Natsuki would pass that shop, and every day she would find herself looking for her. And surprisingly everyday she was there, almost as if she was waiting for her. Then one day, when she looked up to see her…

…she was looking back.

The biker couldn't move; she could barley breath. That was how entranced she was by her. It took the blaring horns behind her to break her out of her stupor. She sped toward her school and the entire day, she was in a daze. She couldn't pay attention in class; she couldn't eat lunch or even make idle conversation with her friends. It didn't strike her until she was home in her apartment that… she looked at her. She LOOKED at her! Once the implications of that finally stuck through, she was grinning like a maniac.

The next day she took the same route making sure to stop at that intersection, and there she was… and she was looking at her again. And she was smiling. She had an amazing smile; a smile that sneaked onto her face, forming itself into a Cheshire-like grin. It broadened across her features and she seemed to glow. Making sure she didn't loose herself this time, Natsuki decided to give her a reply the only way she could.

_**VVVRROOOMMM**_

The raven-haired biker revved up her engine just as the lights changed. Before she drove away completely, she saw the beauty laugh lightly into her hand. _I made her laugh. I made her laugh! Yes!_

From that point on it became a routine, she would smile, Natsuki would rev up her motorcycle and she would laugh. The only change was that the mysterious beauty would always maintain that deep penetrating gaze of hers. A part of her kept saying to go over to her, to meet this enchanting stranger, but recurrent fears held her back. Could she open herself to someone other then a friend? Could she take that 'plunge'? Was she ready? The Biker kept reminding herself that she had places to go and things to do, that there were certain times and certain places for things, and hitting on someone at a street light wasn't one of them. Even though that was the case, she couldn't stand the thought of simply ignoring her.

Then looking again one day, wondering what she would be able to get her object of affection to do today, she noticed something terribly wrong.

She wasn't there.

The dark-haired biker looked in every window, but she still wasn't there. _Maybe she couldn't make it today… she'll be there tomorrow… definitely. _Natsuki tried to reassure herself, and she waited till the next day.

Again, she wasn't there.

Natsuki wasn't just disappointed, she was crushed. Continually she'd look for the beauty but she was never seen. She even went so far as to go inside the coffee shop once. The raven-haired biker eventually told herself it was for the best and that she should keep concentrating on her schoolwork, so she carried on her life as it had been before. As time passed, Natsuki seem to dread hitting that intersection, it only seemed to remind her that what she wanted to see more then anything wasn't there. The biker would do her best to keep herself from stopping at that light, only to find herself turning back toward that intersection to check again, just in case. It didn't take her long to realize that she had made a terrible mistake. She should have done something. ANYTHING, but no, she just kept driving away.

Her depression began affecting her grades and her friends started to worry but no matter what they said she couldn't be pacified and being a person of pride she refused to tell them the problem. Finally, after a long mental debate Natsuki decided to tell her friends about the dilemma. It was their annual 'get-together' but it was just her luck that they all had stepped out to get some 'supplies' leaving her alone with Mikoto. Mikoto was a great friend, don't get her wrong, she was loyal to a fault, but her only shortcoming was that she could be a bit slow when dealing with more _serious_ issues. Looking around and noticing again that there was no one else there to ask, she thought she'd give her a stab at it.

"Hey Mikoto…"

"Hmm," She looked up from her nearly-finished meal, pieces of ramen hanging from her mouth.

"You like Mai right?" Quickly slurping the excess ramen she smiled wide and nodded excitedly.

"I love Mai! Yup, Yup!!" Natsuki laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Mikoto, what if you and Mai never met?" Mikoto gasped and her eyes widened as she dropped her empty bowl, completely horrified by the thought.

" But… I have met her!"

"Yeah but, what if you didn't." Mikoto gave her a wary look.

"…What do you mean…?"

"What if, IF okay, you had never met her before and walking along one day, you just…saw her…just _noticed_ her…" Natsuki glanced at Mikoto to make sure she was following along. Seeing her pensive look she continued.

"And knowing you had somewhere to go, say to lunch or something, would you keep on walking…?"

"Ummm. NOPE!" a large smile grew on her face, stretching from eye to eye.

"See, what if I didn't see her later? At least I know that I could meet her now. Lunch is every day and I can always have lunch later. But Mai… there's only one Mai. " Surprise shown on the biker's face at the simple response, looking contemplative into the distance, she tested the words on her lips.

"There's…only…one."

"Besides if you like someone there always time to say Hi!"

- - -

Another messed up day, and on a red light she stopped. And Natsuki ended up there. AGAIN. At THAT intersection. Knowing that she'd probably turn back if she didn't take one look, she took a glace at that damn window…and the beauty was sitting there behind the glass. _She's… there…SHE'S THERE!_

"…_there's only one… Besides if you like someone there always time to say Hi!"_

With that thought ringing in her mind Natsuki drove into the parking lot in incredible speed. A part of her was afraid. So very afraid, that if she didn't hurry the beauty would disappear from her life again. She hurried into the building and taking a quick glance around, spotted the object of her affections. She walked briskly up to her, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"HI!" The auburn-haired women raised her eyebrows in surprise, and then she relaxed, smiling she rested her chin on her hands.

"Hello." Her voice sounded even more stunning then dark-haired biker could have imagined. Then it hit her, Natsuki had no plan. She was so concentrated on actually getting the chance o talk to her, she now had no IDEA were to go from here.

"I was wondering… if you, uh, wanted to get something to drink or something. No! I mean, we're already in a coffee house, uh… "

"Sit." The command was simple, but firm and it produced the desired result. Natsuki sat down obediently. This was the first time she had ever been so close to the mysterious women and she noticed something wonderfully unique about her. Her eyes, they were a deep crimson. At first Natsuki thought it was a trick of the light, but her eyes really were that color. It made her feel like she could see into her very soul, that she already knew your deepest secret just by looking at you, and it made her even more appealing.

"Please, order something. My treat." She nodded toward menu, and gestured for a waiter to come take her order.

"Oh, no I couldn't!" Natsuki waved her hand in front of her franticly in the negative. After all she was the one suppose to paying.

"Please…" That was all it took, that voice and those beseeching eyes of hers. So she ordered, making sure not to ask for anything to grandiose. That's when she noticed the waiter's attention… aimed directly at **her** object of affection. A vein popped on her forehead but he left before she could do a thing. Time passed and stillness settled between them. No matter how much she thought, Natsuki couldn't think of a topic to start up a conversation. Thankfully the crimson beauty broke the silence.

"I hope I'm not keeping you."

"Huh?"

"From school. You do go to the University around the corner don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. How did you know?"

"Lucky guess. You carry a backpack on your motorcycle."

"Oh! Yeah…hehe" _God shoot me now… _This wasn't what the Biker had in mind. She didn't think that she'd be this tongue-tied. If she didn't do something soon, it would be no different than driving away._ Come on Natsuki, pull yourself together! A-ask for her name! Yeah! That isn't hard!_

"We really haven't been introduced right? My name is Kuga Natsuki." Eagerly she waited for her reply. Glad that the object of her affections would finally get a name.

"My name is K-"

"Shizuru-sama, here's your order!" a cheerful food attendant came, with an admiring gleam in his eye. His fondness obviously toward his current customer. Shizuru clenched her fists slightly, but maintained her fake smile.

"Thank you for your hard work."

"Oh, it's an honor to serve one such as you _Shizuru_." It didn't take a genius to realize that the presence of the young man angered and aggravated Shizuru. While her face contained that smile her hands gripped her glass strongly. Natsuki was secretly fuming by this interruption, knowing that Shizuru didn't like it either she gave him a glare that would send to the farthest corners of the earth. As predicted his smile dropped, and coughing in his throat he proceeded to make his way, far AWAY from the table.

Shizuru noticed the exchange and gave her a warm smile.

"My hero." The raven-haired biker blushed at the complement, and looked down suddenly finding the table very interesting.

"May I ask why, you suddenly decided to join me, after all it's been a long time, and I'm sure you have other things to do." Looking up, Natsuki said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Well, I can go to school any day, but… there's only one of you, Shizuru."

"Only… one…" She laughed quietly, "Yes, you could say I'm one of a kind." For a moment Natsuki believed that she might have missed an underlying joke, but finding nothing wrong with what she said she continued.

"You stopped coming." Shizuru laughs died abruptly and she peered at Natsuki in curiosity.

"I looked for you but you weren't there. I thought… I'd never see you again." The crimson beauty watched her for an instant, her forceful stare making the Biker feel slightly uncomfortable. Then smiling that smile of hers, she replied.

"I'm here now, that's all that matters. Catching that _one_ instant… living for each moment. So… _Natsuki_, are you going to let this moment pass you by now." A grin made its way on the Biker's face…

"Hell no."

- - -

They spent the whole day together at the coffee shop. Her full name was Fujino Shizuru. It felt nice to finally be able to put a name to that haunting beautiful face. Natsuki discovered that the beauty was a year older than her, and already had a serious career working for her father. The biker wasn't sure, but looking at Shizuru it didn't seem as if they were on good terms. Natsuki decided it was too early to ask about something that private. They continued talking about anything at random and simply enjoyed each others company. The day came and went, forcing them to leave the shop at closing time. Ironically it was Shizuru who got a number first; she said that in her line of work it was difficult to get a hold of her and that she'd make sure to call her instead. Though Natsuki was a bit disgruntled by it, she had no real choice but to accept that decision.

Shizuru would call randomly after that. Sometimes in the early hours of the morning or even late at night, from weekends to weekdays. This should have annoyed her but the uncertainty and the unpredictability of it all thrilled her. For every time they met Shizuru would always leave her with a new and memorable experience.

One particularly memorable instance happened on the end of a random date. The sun was setting and driving passed the beach, Natsuki decided to stop to take her girlfriend to see the lovely view.

"I guess we timed this just right."

"Yes we did." Shizuru smiled that smile of hers and walked up to the dock's rail placing herself gracefully on its surface. She sat there, her legs crossed; the skirt of her red dress hitched upward leaving little to the imagination.

"Come here Natsuki."

Her beckoning was all the raven-haired girl needed; she walked toward the crimson beauty, stopping right before her captivating form. Suddenly Shizuru wrapped her legs around the rebel's waist forcing her forward. Then she tightened her muscles, pulling her even closer toward her body.

"Oi! Shizuru what are you doing? There are people here!"

"Shhhh, hush My Natsuki." Shizuru placed a finger upon Natsuki's lips and the dark-haired biker quieted instantly. It was the first time the crimson beauty had ever declared the biker as hers. Being hers…was a wonderful feeling.

"Do you want to know something, _My_ Natsuki? Everyday when you passed on the street. I noticed you. Everyday. You would pass and I would watch. I just want you to know, even before _you_ noticed _me_, I had my eyes on you. "

Before she knew it Natsuki was pulled into a passionate kiss. That kiss alone, left the other's they shared before in the dust. And just like that, Shizuru sneaked her way even deeper into the biker's heart.

Everything was perfect. At least it was until, something disturbing happened.

She had surprised her after class and called asking to meet at the park not to far from the Biker's apartment. They choose to take a leisurely walk since Shizuru had to return to work shortly. Arm in arm, Shizuru clenched her tightly as if declaring a silent vow of ownership. Not that Natsuki minded, if anything she encouraged her giving her a bright, warm smile. Suddenly a voice sounded after them.

"Sh-shizuru…Shizuru! It's you!" A girl with short, dark green hair stood behind them. Her eyes lit up slightly at the sight of the beauty, but dulled almost immediately at the notice of their connecting arms. With a shaky voice she talked in the hope that what she was seeing was a misunderstanding.

"You haven't called me… I was worried that something might have happened."

"I'm sorry. Who are you…?" The girl was crushed, and her entire body showed it. Her body began to shake, and tears formed in her eyes.

"I-It's me Shizuru, its Tomoe. Surly you remember me!"

"Hmmm no I don't, sorry. Perhaps you have me confused with someone else, come lets go Natsuki." Shizuru tugged at Natsuki's arm, pulling her down the paved trail. The dark-haired biker wasn't sure what was happening but everything inside her couldn't allow the stranger to be left so distraught.

"Shizuru! Shizuru wait! SHIZURU DON'T LEAVE!" The girl's voice shook with sorrow and it disturbed the already worried Natsuki.

"Shizuru…" Natsuki gave her love a critical look. Pleading through her eyes, she asked her not to be so cold-hearted. With a sigh the crimson beauty turned again toward the tragic girl.

"Tomoe-san, get a hold of yourself. What you and I had was fun while it lasted but it's over now. Why don't you get on with your life and leave…me… alone."

There was a command in her voice and a threat in her stare. The stranger's eyes widened before she turned to leave, and then ran down the opposite path. It was in that moment that Natsuki saw a side of Shizuru that she hoped never to see again. It was dark, violent, and cruel. She had seen a glimpse of it before, if you could consider it that. Shizuru was always a bit aggressive with her whether it was in actions or words but it had always been playful. Seeing it completely in this form for the first time… was unsettling. After the girl was out of sight, the Biker couldn't stay quiet about what had just transpired.

"I don't know who that was, or what she meant to you before but you didn't have to go that far, Shizuru!" Natsuki couldn't look at the beauty, she didn't approve of how she had handled the situation. The image of that heart-broken girl flashed through her mind.

"Relax, love. She was only a little fling. A moment of pleasure. I don't want her to get the wrong idea that she has a chance with me now of all times. She meant nothing to me then, she means even less now." The crimson beauty pulled her into a deep embrace from behind leaving no room for space in between them. Natsuki did her best not to melt into her touch.

"I'm with my Natsuki and I don't care _what_ it may be, I won't let anything ruin _our_ moment together."

That's when it occurred to her. Is_ this how Shizuru lived? Moment to moment, and if that's the case, she said that this was __**our**__ moment…does that mean that… I am just… another moment that she'll pass by for a different one…_

Natsuki's worries bothered her more and more each day. Questions ran through her head. Questions she couldn't answer, questions… she needed answers for. It all came to an apparent climax on their last night together.

Soothing light from twin candles spread across the room gently illuminating the interior. It revealed expensive furniture, smooth carpeting and hard-wood floors but a dinner set for two was its main focus.

Natsuki stared at her plate the contents of which having been devoured for some time. She was confused. Was this what she wanted? This relationship? Could she continue always wondering and never knowing? She cared for her, yes. Loved her… god, that was more then likely, but it was as if everything was setting itself up for a big fall. And this time Natsuki knew she would fall hard. The unbearable, excruciatingly painful kind of hard.

"Natsuki"

Looking up from her plate, her breath caught as she took in the sight before her. Shizuru's chin was leaning against her hand as she watched her intently. Her face was bathed in candle light, leaving her already flawless skin seemingly shimmering. The lights occasional flicker caused her deep crimson eyes appear to switch between black and red. She looked exotic. She looked almost demonic. She looked breathtakingly beautiful.

"I'm afraid that, my work will require me to take a long business trip away for some time. During which I will be unable to contact you." She said this with a mystifying smile.

_So this is it then…_

"What? But why? Why do you have to leave?" _Why do you have to leave me…?_

Shizuru swiftly rose from her seat and looked at her with such intensity that it caused a lump to form in Natsuki's throat. She began to walk toward her, her hand gliding across the silk material of the table. With each stride Natsuki could feel her insides flip with anticipation and her breathing became hitched and shallow. Her eyes followed her, mesmerized, until the arousing sight was stolen from her vision when the seductress moved behind her. Shizuru's fingers tangled themselves into her hair and massaged her scalp while her other hand moved dark tresses from her lover's ear. Slowly, she began to whisper as she gently nibbled the edges of her lobe.

"Tell me, Na-tsu-ki."

"Y-yes." The hot breath against her skin maddened her senses. Chills ran down the length of Natsuki's body, and pools of heat began to form in her abdomen, the warmth gradually cascading further south. _Oh god!_

"Will you miss me?"

A part of her wanted to scream yes, but Natsuki knew this was her only chance. She hadn't had the strength to speak to her about it before but without those hypnotic eyes staring into her soul, she built up the courage to say what she was hoping to say all night. Natsuki tried to ignore Shizuru's electric touch and attempted to form coherent sentences.

"Sh-shizuru I think that maybe…maybe this is a good thing. I'm not saying that I don't want to see you…I just… I feel like this relationship is all one-sided."

Her actions ceased. Natsuki could feel her love's hands tense against her head and steadily increase its grip.

"Does Natsuki think I don't enjoy her company?"

"No, I'm sure you do but… I can't see unless you call, everything is always around your schedule. I think maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while to make sure that this is what we both want. What you want…what... I want…"

"Are you just making excuses? Are you trying to leave me?" The tone of her voice quivered, sounding both angry and possessive. If Natsuki could have seen her face at that moment, the look would have shaken her.

"NO! It not like that Shizuru, your all I can think about!"

Natsuki yelped in surprise as Shizuru pulled her chair causing her to fall back toward the floor. Like a predator to its prey, Shizuru pounced, quickly placing herself on top of the shocked girl straddling her in a way the she was unable to move. Then grabbing both her wrists in one swift motion and placing them above her head, she forced the dark-haired biker to stare into her eyes. In them Natsuki saw something that both frightened and excited her.

"Perhaps, my Natsuki has forgotten who she belongs to. I know what I want Natsuki. I'm looking at what I want and I don't know where these thoughts of yours came from but I won't let you leave me. You belong to _**me**_. Only to _**me**_. I won't let **anyone** else have you. I wonder… what should I do to make sure that Natsuki doesn't forget that while I'm away." Shizuru's eyes glazed over with conviction and desire. With her free hand, the crimson beauty slowly began to unbutton her love's shirt, her lustful gaze taking in the newly revealed flesh.

"Oi! W-wait a second!" Natsuki squirmed halfheartedly in an attempt to get away, but Shizuru's grip remained firm. Though disturbed by this turn of events Natsuki was secretly enjoying her domineering grasps. The feeling of being wanted that badly thrilled and exhilarated her.

"I think here would be a perfect spot, don't you?" Shizuru's eyes which rested upon her chest lifted to meet Natsuki's confused gaze.

"Wwhat?"

"Yes. Right here. Right over my Natsuki's heart. " Shizuru began to fondle and caress her left breast through the fabric of her bra, paying special attention to the hardening mound she found there. She continued to caress it until her impatience grew and could no longer stand to tease her lover any longer. Savagely she pulled the cloth aside and took in her pert nipple wrapping her tongue around it. Natsuki could feel her arousal increase with every stroke of her lover's tongue as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. The dark-haired biker groaned dropping her head back over the end of the chair. Her breathing increased becoming erratic. Smiling at her reaction, the crimson beauty gripped the breast tight, stroking the mound with her thumb, she kissed her way down the side of her breast.

T-_this is in-incredible!_ Trying to use the last of her sanity, Natsuki struggled to speak once again.

"W-wait j-just a s-second, Shi-Ahhh!" Natsuki gasped her words quickly leaving her. Pain began to emanate from the spot as Shizuru started to bite into her flesh. She could feel drops of her blood flow bit by bit into the valley of her chest and she could feel Shizuru drinking every drop. The pain stung but it was engulfed by the feeling of Shizuru's suckles and licks, the feel of her body and ample chest pressed against her frame. The pain and the pleasure mixed into one mind-blowing sensation.

"Do you want me to stop… _Natsuki_?" she asked in between licks while she followed the rise and fall of Natsuki's chest. Even more wonderful sensations tingled in her body as the crimson beauty began rubbing herself against the most sensitive part of her. Natsuki's groan of pleasure was her only response as the beauty continued to mark her lover.

"Sh-shiz..._Shizuru_"

--

Blushes rose quickly when Natsuki finished her story. Completely bowled over and with blushes as deep as ripe tomatoes, Mai and Nao sat speechless as everything she said began to sink in. With a deep blush of her own, Natsuki turned her head away and coughed into her hand unable to meet the gaze of her friends.

"Wow… Natsuki…I had no idea you were into that sort of thing."

"NAO!!" Both Natsuki and Mai yelled.

"What?!"

"Try to be more considerate! She just told us some very… _private_ information, though I wish she wouldn't have mentioned EVERY detail," Mai took a quick glance at Natsuki, "but that's not the point. Natsuki is in trouble and asking us for our advice, we have to be more supportive."

"Yeah well, I was just saying what we were both thinking…" Nao stated nonchalantly as she took a sip of her newly ordered drink.

"NAO!"

"Ok, OK. Sooo…… Can we see it?" An eager grin spread across Nao's face.

"What! NO!" Natsuki looked at her as if she had grown a second head, completely appalled at the idea.

"Look, I don't know about you Mai but I would like to see what this Fujino-girl is capable of..."

"Do you want to see it Mai." The Biker said with an agitated expression.

"No! Of course not…I would never…well…I… umm" With an apologetic look she raised her hand in a half-praying motion.

"Maybe just a peek." With a sigh, Natsuki unbuttoned the top of her shirt, and taking a quick look around to make sure no one was looking, she showed them Shizuru's handiwork.

"WHOA!"

"Shhh keep it down!" The dark-haired biker gripped her shirt and looked at them with a glare, doing her best to silence them.

"Natsuki, that looks painful." Mai grimaced at the obvious bruising that spread around the wound.

"She must be REAL good if you couldn't feel that!" Natsuki blushed.

"I'm sure they were too _busy_ to notice how bad it was, Nao." Mai tried to save the Biker from any further embarrassment.

"Yeah they couldn't notice because they were in the throws of mind-blowing ecstasy! HAHAHA." The attempt of mercy was completely blown away after Nao's comment. If she wasn't blushing full force before, Natsuki was going purple now.

"Hey is it me or does that look like a 'K'." Nao looked at the wound in curiosity, using her finger to seemingly trace the wound's shape in the air.

"You know I think your right." Mai stated taking a second look at the mark.

"Will both of you stop it!" Natsuki hissed as she quickly re-buttoned her shirt, her ever reddening face a clear sign of her mortification. Mai smiled at Natsuki's common reaction while Nao laughed.

"Well, what do you want us to do? Recommend a good S&M store. You want to get her to talk to you, right? Then talk!"

"I just said the time apart might be good for us and… and you heard what happened. She won't listen to me!" Natsuki blushed remembering the event from last night… then she blushed deeper.

"No, that's not it you're not taking charge! You're like puddy in her hands by the sound of it! You need to let everything all out without her interrupting you! " With a gleam in her eye, Nao pumped her fist for emphasis.

"It's not that easy." With a thoughtful look, the biker crossed her arms over her chest only to instantly drop them with a small scowl at its soreness. She quickly hid her pain and turned her attention to Mai.

"You shouldn't think so negatively, Natsuki. I'm sure there are a lot of things you can do." With a sigh, Natsuki thought about the women who caused her confusion.

"…It shouldn't be this hard to talk to her. Why won't she just trust me."

"Maybe she has issues." Nao said nonchalantly as she took another sip of her drink.

"Perhaps you try something dramatic like… taking her on a talk show!" Mai smiled at her idea thinking that is was actually possible.

"I don't think that will work Mai." Both Natsuki and Nao sweat-dropped at the idea.

"Besides… I don't want to just 'talk' to her anymore…"

"Then wha-"

"I want to break up." The biker looked into the distance, her decision regrettable but final.

"What? I thought you really liked this girl? If you care about her so much, then why do you want to break up?" Mai looked at her puzzled knowing fully well that once Natsuki commits, she never quits.

"I uh, b-because…" The dark-haired girl glanced between the two unable to form an answer.

"Yeah Mutt, I never knew you to ever give up on anything so easily."

"Natsuki?"

"Because…"

"What's the problem? Speak up!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO ONLY SEES ME AS A CONQUEST! I don't want to love someone who'll just LEAVE ME. I can't take that again!" There was a moment of silence as her friends looked at her with sympathy, remembering what she said her life was like before she met them.

"I'm gonna go, I'm sorry I bothered you guys." Natsuki got up from her seat and made motions to leave.

"Wait Natsuki!" Mai grabbed her arm before she could escape, and didn't let go until the biker was seated in her chair once again.

"If this is what you really want you know you have our support. We'll help you come up with something to say ok, but it really all depends on you. I just don't want you to feel like your making a mistake. You shouldn't let what happened in the past decide how you should live or… who you should love in the present." Mai gave her a caring smile hoping that it would help comfort her friend.

"Mai…"

"Yeah well, let's forget all the mushy stuff and see what we can up with huh! Honestly I didn't want to say anything before but I think you need to cut that leash and run. The girl sounds nuts!" The girls looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm serious, what she did gave the term 'love bite' new meaning! She literally made her mark on you, in some twisted form of possession. That should be proof in itself that she could be willing to go further than just that mark. I still surprised that the **only** thing you're worried over is that she isn't being more open with you. There's some pretty messed up people out there Natsuki, promise you'll be careful."

"Nao… I think that's the first time you've ever said you'd be worried about me." Natsuki looked at her with a proud grin.

"HEY! I never said that; don't put words in my mouth. You damn dog! The only one allowed to kick you're ass is me." They all shared a laugh and Natsuki found reassurance in their presence, receiving courage from their words.

--

After making sure her Ducati was parked in a safe place, Natsuki made her way toward the front desk of her love's hotel room. A clamp seemed to grip her stomach, the nervousness she felt seizing any sense of certainty she had before and effectively sending it into the deepest pit of hell. Frantically she kept replaying the conversation she planned with her friends, hoping that it would calm her down. _I can do this, I can do this! I can't let her get to me! I have to be serious and firm! FIRM!! …Firm… _the image of Shizuru's slender, voluptuous body appeared in her mind, calling her, enticing her. _GOD DAMMIT NO!!... sigh I'm so screwed._

Natsuki reached the front desk, dread filling her insides.

"Uh, hi I'm Kuga Natsuki. I'm here to see Fujino Shizuru in the presidential suite."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't give key cards to anyone who walks from the street."

"Look she knows me, I-I was here last night, I really need to speak with her." The receptionist gave her a skeptical look, and then proceeded to type the name into her computer. After taking a quick glance, she once again turned toward Natsuki and gave her reply with irritation apparent on her face.

"Fujino-sama left specific instructions that she is never to be disturbed no matter who this person may be unless she has explicitly left instructions to allow said person to enter and I'm afraid we have no mention of a Kuga Natsuki."

Disbelief filled her, was she that unimportant, had she even been mentioned to anyone in the hotel at all. The disbelief turned from grief to anger, remembering how she was never able to get in contact with her before. Remembering how completely distant she seemed, before her mysteriousness was what attracted her but now she was just fed up with it!

"I NEED TO TALK TO HER. You've got a phone right there just call her!" she yelled this a little louder than she intended to, her frustration leaking into her voice.

"I suggest you leave, now miss. Please, don't make me call security."

Natsuki tried to control her anger after noticing she was gaining unwanted attention. Growling in frustration, she knew she didn't have a choice but to leave.

"F-fine."

She rushed out of the hotel, and began to pace outside. _I don't BELIEVE this, it's all too messed up for WORDS!! GGAAAHHH! Now what am I going to do?! _Realizing that the confrontation wouldn't happen today, she felt both worried and relieved. Natsuki knew that it was only a mater of time before everything would be over, but… a part of her didn't want it to end. She hated to admit it but she was falling for the women. Maybe… she already did. Feeling defeated she walked toward her Ducati, a look plainly written on her face that said 'do NOT bother me!'

_Psst_

She raised her head at the noise, only to dismiss it as something unimportant and continued walking.

_PSSSSTTT!!_

Turning her head again toward the sound, she saw a boy about her age gesturing her to come over. He was obviously an employee of the hotel, with the rather large uniform hanging from his body. Apparently her face didn't send the message plainly enough for the guy. _That Bellboy better __**not**__ be trying to pick me up…I'm so not in the mood for that!_

"I hear that you're trying to find Fujino Shizuru, that right." Natsuki was surprised at first but she looked at him in disbelief.

"Yeah, but how would you know how to get a hold of her?"

"The question isn't getting a hold of her, its finding out where she is…"

"She isn't here?"

"Bingo!"

"But she's supposed to be packing for her trip. Where is she!?" Noticing that he managed to grab her interest, a cocky grin placed itself in his face.

"Well I could tell you, but my mind seems to be a little fuzzy." Veins popped on her forehead at the bellman's obvious meaning. In annoyance, she dug into her wallet and pulling out a fifty, handed it to the man.

"Hmm it's stiiilllll a little fuzzy."

_I can't believe this guy!_ Clenching her fists she grabbed another fifty and handed it to him roughly making sure he felt her anger.

"Hey be gentle. I'm the one doing you a favor you know."

"Tell me where she is, NOW." The infamous Kuga death glare quickly shut him up. He gulped, suddenly fearing for his life. Then he proceeded to quickly write down something on a piece of paper.

"Uh…look, I saw her leave real early this morning, I mean before sunrise early, and FYI she didn't have any luggage with her on this trip. I don't think she was going to where you think she was. About once every other month she asks to be taken to this address. You're lucky I was paying attention this time when I put her in the cab, of course with what she was wearing…" he whistled his approval but noticing Natsuki's murderous aura quickly shut himself up again. "Yeah well, it's a little weird is all, every month like clockwork; she leaves the same time, to the same place I assume."

Curiosity getting the better of her, Natsuki cooled down and decided to see what else she could learn.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just like I said, she just comes and goes. She stays for a month, leaves, and then she just appears out of the blue a month later. Not only that but she's very strict on privacy, no ones allowed on her **floor** unless they've got her permission before hand. Heck, she apparently has another apartment in another hotel specifically for _entertaining_, if you know what I mean."

It felt as if someone just beat her heart with a ten ton mallet. The tension in her chest was unbearable and sadness overcame her. _Others, she has others…of course…_

Noticing the pained look on her face, and being a softy for girls hurting, he hastily started to explain,

"Whoa relax uhh... she hasn't asked to go there in a long time, I'm guessing it's probably because of you. You're even the only one she's ever brought here! Fujino-san has even started staring off into space, and she's **definitely** friendlier, she actually said Good Morning to me recently. And you probably already know she absolutely despises men."

She grinned forlornly at the man's lame attempts at comfort, but all the same she decided to let those words ease her worries. Natsuki started walking away, asking one last question of her informer.

"Aren't classy hotels supposed to have some policy against this?" Pleased that he managed to help her slightly, he replied with his usual smugness.

"Yeah well, let's just say I'm still new."

--

Looking at the paper she double-checked the address on the house. It was a large Victorian family home. For a supposedly average home it was rather large, even from the outside it looked very spacious. Gardens grew from the front of the house and extended to each side. Eight sets of windows in white cedar frames lay evenly across the home's brick surface, small vines growing up its walls. Grass could easily be seen covering the backyard and rich colors painted its exterior giving it a warm, inviting feeling.

Natsuki walked across the spacious driveway, her pace slowing as she reached the door. There gold knockers rested on the thick brown door and lace curtains could be seen through the windows. _This place is so homey. Looks like it came straight out of a chocolate box. I can't imagine Shizuru living here…ok well here goes nothing._

After the door bell rang, Natsuki waited tapping her foot against the gravel. The door opened and there stood an elderly woman, her short gray hair combed neatly across her head, and she wore a dark outfit suitable for maids. The women peered at her with hard unforgiving eyes. _Whoa! Must back away, back FAR away!_

"Yes." The women said in a deep tone, looking at the Biker in annoyance. Taking in a breath, Natsuki steeled herself for the impending encounter.

"I'm here to see Shizuru." Shock could visibly be seen in the elder's eyes. She looked her up and down as if she her questioning gaze could be answered by her actions.

"And who might you be?" the rebel's heart sank once more at her apparent lack of mention, quickly deflating her. _God! I can't stand this anymore…_

"Kuga! My name is Kuga Natsuki! OK! I need to see her right now! I tired of getting the run-around!_"_

"Ojou-sama does not allow uninvited guests."

"So I hear! Tell her I'm outside. She knows who I am and I'm not leaving until she GETS HER ASS OUT HERE!!" She let out all of her frustration, not really caring what the consequences might be. The Biker knew she was in this house and the sooner she talked to her, the sooner it could all be over.

Suddenly a voice called from the within the house.

"Ara, ara Miss Maria. It isn't polite to keep guests waiting outside in this heat. Let her inside." _That voice…_ sudden butterflies raged within her abdomen flipping her insides in nervousness. _It's her…but… she sounds…different…_ Apparently her voice resonated into the home, its occupants hearing every word. Of course they would have to be deaf not to.

"This way." With a tightly reined displeasure, the elderly women escorted her into the home closing the door behind her. She continued walking toward a door adjacent from the front and stepped inside. It was most likely the living room.

"Ojou-sama is there anything else I can get you." Stepping into the room she saw her instantly. An elegant dress with small frills and intricate designs clung to her form, cascading down the length of the chair. It was a sight the dark-haired girl wasn't accustomed to. Shizuru always wore cloths that revealed her beauty in sensually, memorizing ways and it wasn't that this dress lacked that aspect, but the piece had the markings of a woman of class. Her posture was different. She leaned back instead of foreword, onto her chair, and with a cup of tea in hand she stared wistfully outside her window. _Is that Shizuru? She looks so… sad. _

"No thank you Maria. That will be all. Could you please leave us?" She released a distressed sigh and with a tired expression she turned, her attention now residing on her unexpected guest.

"O-of course, ojou-sama." Though reluctant the women followed her mistress's orders and closed the door behind her as she left. Finally, she had Shizuru in front of her and this time she wasn't going to allow her affection for the girl get in the way.

"Do you have any idea what I've been through today?"

"Please, do tell."

"I went to your apartment only find that I wasn't allowed to see you. Me, Shizuru! ME! THEN, I had to bribe the bellboy just to find out that you left early this morning and NOT for a business trip. Oh no, but that couldn't be the only thing… you have another apartment, in ANOTHER hotel for your OTHER girlfriends!!"

"Really? Well, You seem to be having a long day perhaps, you shou-"

"NO! THIS time you will let me FINISH!" Natsuki ran an aggravated hand through her hair.

"God! Is that all I am to you now, Shizuru. A fling. A MOMENT OF _PLEASURE_. You're driving me nuts! I don't want to be just a moment in your life!"

"Ara, then what do you want?"

"I WANT ALL OF YOU!" Shock registered on the hostesses face from the outburst. She looked deep into Natsuki's emerald eyes, searching them. For what, the biker didn't know but something was different… the way she looked at her… it felt different. Before Natsuki could dwell on that thought any further, Shizuru closed her eyes to gather her thoughts.

"Kuga-san is it… I hate to bring you more bad news but I do believe this is the first time we've met." She stated as she took a sip of her tea, the chestnut-haired women opened her eyes and looked on the dark-haired biker with sympathy.

Natsuki stood speechless, her legs started to give way. Quickly she stumbled into the nearest chair. Everything she just said appeared to fall on deaf ears. It was impossible! She had been seeing Shizuru for almost a month, how could she not remember her. A twinge of pain flashed in her chest at the thought that she seemed so forgettable to the women who haunted her days and nights. She truly had tuned into that women they met in the park. Why, for goodness sake, WHY.

_**NO! **_

_I have to stop thinking like this. I'm here because everything won't stop falling apart! I can't take feeling this way all the time! I came to end it myself!  
_  
Seeing so many emotions flashing across her face, the young lady decided to ease her confusion. With a small nod to herself, she set down her tea cup placing it gently onto the table and overlapped her hands on her lap.

"Ara, I can see I'm going to have to be forthcoming with you. Normally, I'm fully rested before I have to deal with the… problems that she's left behind, but I'm aware that this isn't the case."

"Wait, what do you mean by _she_?"

"She, as in the girl you know as Fujino Shizuru."

"You're… you're not Shizuru."

"I wouldn't say that…"

"You either are or you aren't!"

"Kannin na Kuga-san, but these circumstances aren't that black and white." She messaged her temples trying to ease the tension there. Natsuki was tired of the all the constant distractions, so avoiding all the hostesses ambiguous answers, she kept her main goal in focus.

"But she is here."

"Yes she is."

"Then I'm going to find her!" Natsuki got up from her chair and briskly made her way toward the door.

"No wait. Please." The biker stopped and turned herself to this person who says she isn't her Shizuru. It seemed that no matter what, she just couldn't ever say no to that face.

"It won't matter where you look you're not going to find her in any other room." _Again. More distractions. It's all just more distractions!_

"YOU JUST TOLD ME SHE WAS HERE! And if you aren't her then, where is she?!" Natsuki glared forcefully awaiting an answer.

"Let me see if I can clarify the situation you have stumbled your way into. My name is Shizuru Viola, and I have Split-Personality Disorder."

--

Well I hope you like it so far; I must have gone over it a dozen times in the past week. I really hope that it comes to par with all the other great shiznat fics here. On a funny note, I actually had to stop writing the shiznat uh… _dinner_ scene for a bit. I actually couldn't type I was so embarrassed. Reading it is one thing… writing it on the other hand... / Honestly, I don't think I'm ready for a full scene like that, this one came out ok (being only a small tidbit and all) but I think it could have been better.

I trust you guys to tell me if their too OOC, I'm really trying to keep them in character. So if you could… please make sure I don't murder them huh .

**TO ALL YOU AUTHORS AND READERS OUT THERE:** I'm honored that you read this long, and that you thought this fic was worth reading to the end.

R/R Pllleeeaaassee


	2. Shard of the Resolute

**Disclaimer:** I GET IT! I DON'T OWN MAI HIME, MAI OTOME, OR MAI ANYTHING!

**WARNING:** This is a yuri fanfic, this is the last time I'm saying this, all close-minded people BEWARE

First of all, I'm sorry for taking so long, my goal was to update in another week but I had two BIG tests I was so not ready for, so I had to postpone it for a couple of days, then I got this new job and between my classes and work I had little time. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I HAVN'T BEEN WORKING ON IT! Actually I would have updated sooner if not for the fact that Chap 2 ended up being TWICE AS LONG AS NUMBER 1!! I JUST KEPT WRITING AND I JUST CHECKED TO SEE IF I MADE IT TOO LONG AND **I DID**!! AND I'M STILL NOT ENTIRELY FINISHED!

I'm trying to update regularly with this so I don't just leave it alone, but my schedule is getting a little hectic still I swear I won't abandon it!! I decided just to post this part for now untill I finish with the rest. hehe uh tell me if I'm making these _too_ long huh, I think maybe I should cut then into different chaps. (I swear nothing will be longer than the first chap hehehe)

Secondly, I have to say…WOW. I never thought I would get **49** reviews on my first chap alone! I feel… all warm and fluffy inside. :3

I wanted to wait till I got my next chap up and all the reviews came in so I could reply to everyone! By the time this gets posted I should be finished replying to all the reviews but as for the anonymous ones…

**Minera:** Wow you caught it! Sssmmaarrtt! I was hoping it would be a surprise but I'm glad you still liked it!

**Kadajclone:** Continued! LOL

**Gale:** I'm glad you like it!

**Resurie Kandedo:** Yes! I got you! LOL

**JuiceTomato: **Impressed really?! Yay! I know it does start out a little slow sorry; I'm still working on my writing though! But I'm so happy you liked the ending! I worked very hard on it, rewrote it and moved lines several times!

**Kitajima: **When I read your review I was laughing… you'll find out why in the chapter and thank you for your support!

**Kae: **You'll find out in this chapter so read! ... and maybe leave another review pleeeaasseee :3

**anonymouschick7:** Thank you I'll do my best to keep going!

**Shiznatlover: **It took me a while to think up something original… everything practically already been taken! So Yay! I'm glad you like it! Oh… and sorry Shiznatlover close but no cigar lol (I heard that somewhere lol)

**rain82:** Here's the chap! Thanks so much for reading!!

**THIS IS GENERAL AND APPLIES TO ALL REVIEWERS: **Thank you… you have no idea how much all your comments meant to me. This being my first time and all… I have to say I was ecstatic. I don't think I've ever felt so excited to read thoughts that made up some five sentences! LoL I would look at your guy's reviews and feel confident to continue writing…truly, thank you!

For such a small part a lot of people noticed the K thing. KUDOS for you all! Yes, it is significant, you'll find out soon why!

Splitting Hearts

Chapter 2: Shard of the Resolute

Her eyes widened. _Split…p-personality…?_

It took a while for Natsuki to gather her thoughts and when she thought she was done she had to gather them again. She opened her mouth only to close it. She raised her hand, her first finger pointed toward the hostess preparing to ask a question, only to curl it back into her hand speechless.

Then the biker's thoughts became doubtful. She was lying…she had to be, this was just some sick ploy to get her out of Shizuru's life…but the differences she had seen between them left little room for disbelief. Their looks, the way they dress, their expressions, the way they carry themselves, their posture, even the way they speak … it was all different. She should have been worried but honestly a part of her was relieved. It would explain the supposed business trip and it would certainly explain her love's secrecy. _And maybe… possibly…could she still…have feelings for me…was I worrying for nothing…but… **can** she have feelings for me? Was the Shizuru I know, ever… real…?_

Shizuru sat patiently waiting for the biker to take in this new information, ready and prepared for her reaction.

"Well, I prefer the term Dissociate-Identity Disorder, but I thought you might have wanted something you could recognize... you do know what split-personality disorder means?"

"Uh…yes, yes I do…" Natsuki answered distracted, she knew what the term itself meant but as for anything else, not much. She was still recovering from shock, it's not everyday that you find out you've been dating a split personality. Shizuru noticed the biker's unfocused gaze, "I think you should, sit down."

Natsuki looked up toward this Shizuru, waking from her reverie and realizing where she was. The biker thought that perhaps it would be best if she followed her instruction. Honestly, who knew what else would happen today.

"Can you tell me what you know about your Fujino Shizuru? It will save me some time in explaining things to you." A brief flinch crossed the hostesses face; quickly she touched her head lightly to hide it. Luckily, after finding her seat, Natsuki was staring at the floor in contemplation.

"Uh, She… never told me much. Just her name, age, and that she works for her father. We just spent our time together… it didn't really matter to me where she came from as long as I could see her." Even though Natsuki's stare was focused on the floor, Shizuru could still see fondness and yearning spread across her face. The hostess uneasily lowered her hand after realizing that this was going to be a more difficult to deal with than she thought. _This girl really…cares about her…this is… a problem…_

"Ah… well… first of all Fujino Shizuru isn't her real name. Her real name is Kiyo. I have spoken with her, from time to time an-d..." Shizuru tailed off after seeing the Natsuki's jaw drop.

"Ara, do you not believe me?" Shizuru looked worried at the completely astounded look that took over Natsuki's face. The biker glanced up to look into Shizuru's eyes just to make sure she wasn't lying. _**There's no…way…**_

"You said Kiyo right, as in Kiyo with a '_K_'"

"Yes… her name starts with a 'K', haven't you been listening?"

_Kiyo…Oh god 'K'! _The realization hit her for a second time. Natsuki touched her chest lightly, to a particular place…over her heart. A deep blush formed on her face. _I can't believe it; she put her initial on me…Shizuru has always been a bit on the possessive side but…Wait! Her name isn't Shizuru …its Kiyo… **that's** why she used a 'K'…_

"Kiyo, of course." Natsuki chuckled at the insanity of it all, she had a possessive girlfriend who goes under an anonymous name, who is a split-personality of some rich chick, and likes marking people with her initial. It was all too unbelievable…

"She…she told you her name?" Surprise and shock etched itself onto her Shizuru's face. After seeing her reaction, the Biker was confused…_It's her name; it's obvious she'd tell it to me… if she had the chance…_

"Well, she was going to the first time we met but someone interrupted her and called her Shizuru. Why is that so surprising?"

"Well she's an alter but… she has never used her real name anywhere or with anyone…"

"What do you mean? What's an Alter?"

"It's the term most commonly used for someone's other personalities." Shizuru took a slight pause to gather her thoughts. To explain what she has learned over the years, in a short understandable explanation would be difficult; especially when she couldn't understand it herself at times.

"A… name is a powerful thing, Kuga-san. It doesn't just tell us who and what we are, but it also connect us to what we have, everything we've worked for… binding them to us. Things we want… things we need… things we love… without a name, you have nothing. That's why Alters use their names so forcefully; it's to keep their own sense of identity, because in reality it's all they have. Could you, Kuga-san, live with things under the name of someone else? Surely you'd feel that they don't really belong to you, wouldn't you?

Natsuki took a moment to imagine herself living a life with the name...Yuuki Nao. She blanked at the thought, for more than one reason... the image of everything she owned, everything she held dear under the name of someone else caused her stomach to lurch. _My apartment, my phone, my food, my clothes…everything under her name!_

Envisioning all her possessions, even though they were supposed to be hers… under the name of someone else… It felt like she walked into some stranger's life. _GOD! My Ducati under the name of...HELL NO!_

"…Uhh yeah I guess, I would."

"But Kiyo… she is an exception. She's very smart, and knows that it would do her no good to use a name that doesn't exist anywhere but in my mind. However, I'm sure she must be suffering because she can't use it." Shizuru raised her hand and lightly touched her head once more.

"So you're saying that… her name…"

"It's like I said she has never used it, not unless she where to want it for herself…"

…_She… marked me. Was that why she put her name on me?_ Because _she…wants…me. She wants me for herself! I wasn't just a fling! She really does want to be with me! _The unrestrained joy she felt exploded inside her.All of the worrying! It was for nothing! She felt relief at the thought that she meant more to Shi- Kiyo then she had previously believed. She knew she should be disturbed or maybe sickened by how she had done this, but the sentiment behind her actions awkwardly warmed her heart to its fullest extent. Still… there was something she didn't understand…

"So she is you."

"A part of me, Yes."

"But you are..?"

"I am the original, Fujino Shizuru, or at least was."

"Ah…so uh-Kiyo… she uses your name without your permission?_ God, that's a whole new spin on identity theft…_

"That name… no longer belongs to me."

"Because of Kiyo?"

"Yes and no. You see I was born as Fujino Shizuru but do to… differences of opinion; I decided to leave my family. My father was outraged, so he disinherited me and that seemed to include the Fujino name as well. I was glad to relinquish the name and I took my mothers maiden name, Viola, instead, then started a life here in my mother's former home. After my father learned of my illness, he came to see me and that's when he met Kiyo." Though small in action, Natsuki noticed that this Shizuru's hands where gripping each other tightly in her lap. _What the…! Why is she…? Is this really that painful for her?_

"…Ironically, my father believes that she deserves the title of Fujino more than me, even if we are the same person." The young lady turned her head away looking into the distance as she recalled the events.

"She was the daughter he always wanted… from what I've heard from people who have met her and from my personal knowledge she is violent, cruel, and the worst type of cunning." _Heh, you forget sexually aggressive but…I've never seen her as anything like those...in a large extent anyway…_

"She knows how to use people to her advantage; as luck would have it, I got a personal taste of it myself." Annoyance etched onto the hostess's brows as Natsuki looked at her in surprise. _Wha…No! She isn't like that! She can get a little mean sometimes and she may use her charm to get us some free drinks at the movies but she's never **seriously** used anyone…I don't think she… has… wait, that girl from the park…maybe…I've only known her for a month or so…she never told me anything about her… well… she maybe like that, b-but…._

"Kiyo accepted a deal my father proposed when he came to visit me and I had no choice but to obey once I 'woke up.'"

"Deal?" Shizuru turned her head and looked at her unexpected guest.

"Kiyo isn't one to stay in a place like this; she especially isn't cooperative in therapy. She has… run away many times. You wouldn't believe the places I've found myself in. My father noticed her rebelliousness and told her that he'd provide a separate home for her with the freedom to do as she wished as long as she trained to run the company. And she agreed." An onlooker could see Shizuru's obvious dislike for the situation. Her sad and furrowed gaze turned into one of frustration.

"Having such a strong personality, she can take control for several days at a time. I've 'awoken' in her office; in her apartment... eventually I had to find a way to repair the situation. " Natsuki continued to stare stunned at the brown-haired women as she relayed this information.

"That's when Kiyo made me a deal of her own. She swore on her name, that she would return me to my home, at the beginning of every other month on the condition that I do the paperwork assigned to her." _My Shizuru wouldn't do that! She…couldn't…but… I've never seen her work…I just assumed that was what she did when I wasn't with her…_

"Of course, this only gives her the opportunity to continue working at my father's company, it's just a brutal cycle and thanks to that deal I can't get him out of my life."

_But that can't be… she…she'd never…at least; I don't think she'd…_

"Kiyo is self-serving,"

**No!**

"Inconsiderate,"

**Stop it!**

"Vindictive,"

**That isn't her!**

"Arro-,"

"STOP!" Shizuru turned her attention to her guest astonished. Her eyes took in Natsuki's clenched fists and upset glare.

"E-excuse me?"

"Stop saying all these bad things about her! I won't allow it! You can say that Shiz-KIYO and her father are working together but she hates him as much as you do! She isn't a monster; she isn't any of those things you said! Since the day I met her she's only been g-good to me!"

"Then I think you caught her on a good day." The young ladies calm demeanor only seemed to anger Natsuki more.

"How can you say that about her!? You know her better than I do!"

"And that is exactly why I saying these things."

"But… she isn't… like that…" Natsuki looked down and stared into her tightened hands. Perhaps she was wrong, perhaps she thought too highly of her lover. The biker knew she was far from perfect and she had well…ok she did stretch the truth a bit, but she felt there was a part of Shi…a part of Kiyo that was genuinely good no matter how wicked she acted.

"Ara, was that why you came? To defend her. To declare your love."

Natsuki blushed and looking away, she rubbed her arm in discomfort.

"No, I…I actually came to… break up with her." A look of wrenching pain crossed Shizuru's face as she instantly grabbed her head. Her eyes tightened as pang after pang of pain struck her brain. _What's happening to her!? Shizuru!_ Natsuki rose in her chair but before she could run to her side, Shizuru began to speak as if nothing was happening even if the quiver in her voice said otherwise.

"Ara, Ara… is that so…?" Throughout their conversation Natsuki noticed small things about this Shizuru. She would have an occasional flinch or give her head a light touch as if she was trying to stop something, but she always sustained that dignified air of hers. Now it was becoming apparent that she was struggling to uphold the façade. The Biker began looking at her in worry. Something was wrong, she knew it, she could feel it but she didn't know what. Was she sick? Was she tired? Did she have an incredible migraine?!...Did…did this have something to do with her disorder?? Natsuki felt a sudden urge to protect her as she watched the abruptly fragile looking women.

"Well apparently she wasn't as good to you as you say…" Strain could be heard in her deep breathing but on the outside Shizuru managed to regain her posture, her arms had settled themselves back down and she looked at Natsuki once more. After that statement, the Biker was struck back to the main reason why she was here in the first place…or more like, to the **main** person.

"Well, I-I thought that she didn't want anything to do with me… I thought she was tired of me, and that was why she really left…"

"And now that you know the truth…" Natsuki observed this girl. This girl who was and wasn't the one she fell in love with. She was different, that was certain, but… there was still…something about her that pulled her. It was awkward. The Biker felt as if she was cheating on her lover for feeling this way, but she was still both curious and worried about the person who sat before her. But… this girl was also her Shizuru… the one she met at the coffee shop, the one who entranced her with just a smile… even if right now she wasn't exactly present. It was tricky, but if she looked at her deep enough she could still see those playful eyes behind that calm stare, that cheshire-like smile behind the cheerless frown…and, oh, how she missed her.

_My Shizuru…no…My…my Kiyo…_

"I want to be with Shi-… Kiyo, she's who I've been with… and she's who I lo-… c-care for," Natsuki blushed looking away. As much as she cared for her love, the biker had too much pride to admit that her heart was so easily stolen. Especially since Kiyo herself had never spoken words of love to her in return. Sure, she said that Natsuki was hers, and the biker never denied that fact…but not once did Kiyo ever say that she was hers in return… that she loved her, or even cared for her… it always seemed implied and Natsuki believed her actions where essentially ones of love. Now she wasn't so sure… she had never heard anything once, and now she really needed to hear it.

She was back to square one, longing for a person who was never there when she needed her. Could she really just let this all go on? Kiyo had a good reason but now that she knew her secret would she still treat her the same way? Did this mark she placed on her body really mean what she thought it did? After all she did have others… perhaps she had marked them all.

"Honestly, though…I don't think I ca-… I've had too many emotional rushes for one day… I don't know if I can take anymore ups and downs…" Nevertheless, through all her doubts and all her worries due to her damned inexperience, it still didn't change one essential factor…

"Of course I understand, let m-"

"**But**… I don't want to give her up for no reason. If she wants me… I still want her."

…She loved Kiyo. _So maybe, if…if there is still a chance…_

Shizuru stared at Natsuki, with astonishment and curiosity. Then with a quick blink, her resolve returned and she straightened herself in her seat.

"Hmm, I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this but you leave me with no choice."

"Kuga-san, as you probably realized by now, I want nothing to do with anything that concerns my father. This whole deal rubs me the wrong way but I don't have any other option, Kiyo's life now seems to belong to him. You are apart of Kiyo's life and therefore a part of my father's life, or at least you will be."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Kuga-san, let me declare this plainly. Get out of my house."

"What! B-but I-" _She wants me gone…_ To see that face say those words…broke her heart. Even if it wasn't Kiyo, something still shattered inside her. Natsuki tried despairingly to recover from the blow.

"This place… this place is my home. It is my only means of sanctuary and I will do anything to protect it."

"But I can't just leave! I haven't done an-"

"**NATSUKI**!" The Biker was startled, not only by the fact that the young lady used her first name but because such a loud yell, coming from such an elegant woman.

"Please, can't you see that I'm tired? I've barely slept at all since this morning and I can't take anymore of Kiyo's selfishness. I don't want to deal with this. I-…We share the same body but I am NOT Kiyo… just consider this, can you continue to love her with the knowledge that there are parts of her that will never love you in return…."

Pain. That was what she felt more and more pain. Natsuki couldn't decide what hurt more, the image of a Kiyo who would always remain out of her reach or perhaps it was the other implied fact… that this Shizuru would never love her. She could see herself again, setting up for a big fall. She had to fight back she couldn't just leave knowing that her Shizuru still cared about her. But there was still that chance… that Kiyo would disappear. Viola Shizuru was the real person… and Kiyo was just an 'alter,' then wouldn't that mean that one day… she would never see her again. _I can't let it just…end…Kiyo could still…there could still be hope for us…I-I…_

_I…don't know… I just don't know anymore…_

"B-But……"

_It's just…too hard…_

_There's just too many problems… too much pain._

This Shizuru…she was right. Natsuki could give Kiyo her all, and she would never be able to stay with her. Not completely. In the end, she would **still** leave her… so wouldn't it be better if she left herself now?

"…I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye." Natsuki's eyes shown with pained resignation as she looked at the person who she wanted, but had to let go. Shizuru saw the biker's unwilling acceptance, and her posture relaxed. The edge in her voice left, but her hard look was maintained, now, with the subtle hint of sympathy… because this unexpected _problem_ was solved.

" Kannin na Kuga-san, I will tell her your choice myself if she hasn't been listening in. You no longer have to worry about it…" It all felt so final. It was ending. The wonderful moment was ending. That pure bliss she remembered seemed so distant now.

Natsuki couldn't even bring herself to speak. This all felt wrong somehow, it was what she intended, it was what she planned, and it was what she finally decided but it still felt so wrong.

"Have a good day, Kuga-san, and forgive me for not seeing you on your way out." Natsuki stood and walked slowly to the door. She felt heaviness in her stomach as she walked closer to the door and upon reaching it every muscle in her body tensed reminding her of her unconscious desire to stay. The biker forced her body to relax and tried to open the door but she just couldn't do it. She couldn't turn the handle. Shizuru looked at Natsuki's defeated posture and noticed her hesitance. _I-I only need to push her just…a little more…forgive me…_

The young lady gave her the only thing she could think of that would possibly comfort her but mostly… move the reluctant Natsuki forward that final inch.

"…Goodbye, Natsuki…" She said goodbye… in Kiyo's stead.

The Biker clutched the door's knob, her whole body tensing along with it. _No! I-I don't want to say it! Please, don't make me say it! Not yet, not… not now…_

"…goodbye…" Natsuki opened the door and stepped through, closing it behind her.

Here's number two!

**Kitajima! Olivia U.L.****! Congratulations you two were the only ones to guess the right name correctly ! Even if you were only partly right! LOL Good for you!**

OMFG! You have no IDEA how hard it was to write the first half of this story! It took me about TWO WHOLE days of thinking to get it _about_ right. It was an essential part, explaining about DID (dissociative identity disorder) it had to be understandable but informative; it had to flow with Natsuki's feeling but introduce Shizurus' too. GAHH! My brain!

PLEASE REVIEW FOR ME GUYS! YOUR WORDS ARE WHAT KEEP ME GOING TO WRITE AND IMPROVE! :)


	3. Shard of the Resolute: part 2

HI everybody!

I know it's been a while, I apologize for the wait. Finals week sort of sprung on my when I planned my deadline so…. I had to postpone it BUT I was still working on it hehehe in fact its still finals week I'm doing this in between tests. I KNOW bad, very bad! But I read some reviews and I got all excited and I just had to write! lol

I'm working on finishing the next chappie so it should come out a bit faster especially since finals are over on Friday then I should have a lot more time! Oh and I have to say that I will NEVER, EVER **not** update! It will take a bit, two months will probably be the longest, anything longer than that and I'll inform you guys why. OK soooo………

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it; wish I did. If I did, there'd be a ton of Shiznat yeah…well, you all get the idea…

**Kitajima:**YAY! Congrats again! Well lets hope Shizuru isn't immune, but to me that would be a bit impossible LOL

**rain82: **I'm sorry it took so long but it sounds like you have the same problem. Don't work youself too hard kay! Thanks for your deication! XD

**rain82:**O.O Two rain82's! Ok well I'm still replying to both hehehe LOL A sequel where they BOTH have their own kids with Natsuki lol. You know I do feel bad for Natsuki though she'd get totally worn out for that to happen LOL

**Gale: **;; Yes Shizuru is the more likable person right now isn't she, after all she's been through alot and with Kiyo its neverending trouble! Well I didn't get a hundred yet but I did get **88** YES! For a newbie that's big for me lol

**Princess Alexandria:**I'm glad you like my idea! Of course not even I realized how much of a problem this will be later hehe... yeah I'm wondering how I'm gonna resolve it all too lol

**Ruka:**Thank you for reading!! . But what do you mean by different? O.O I hope good different!

**Ari:**Of course I'll continue, I have no intention of stopping! XD The reviews are too adictive! Lol

**Chapter two, part 2: **

**Shard of the Resolute**

The dulled sound of a revving engine could be heard from inside the house. Viola Shizuru stared resolutely out the window from her seat in the study, as she watched the unexpected guest preparing to drive away. Emerald clashed with crimson as Natsuki turned her head to give her one last glance. Longing and sadness could be seen unreserved in her eyes. They stared deeply until Shizuru lifted her newly filled teacup and gave it a nonchalant sip, breaking contact as she closed her eyes to savor its flavor. That action brought the guest back to reality; Natsuki quickly shut her visor and sped off the property.

It wasn't until the dark-haired biker was out of sight, did Shizuru's firm look waver, and then convert itself into a depressed look of guilt and despair. Her arms lowered, her shoulders drooped and her hands clenched in frustration as she felt the familiar yet unfamiliar sensations in her heart.

She wanted… to stare into those green depths, to look into those eyes and see that longing, to feel the biker's need, but there was something that continued to ruin her fantasy…the fact that her yearning gaze wasn't meant for her, but for Kiyo.

_What am I doing?! I-I shouldn't be feeling so jealous! It's ridiculous! I don't know her or __**anything**__ about her and t-this is the first time I've even __**seen**__ her…!_

_But…_

It was her presence. Shizuru had recognized her presence and the realization of who she was had tugged at her heart.

Almost every night for the past month a presence visited her dreams, warming and comforting her in the dark recesses of her mind… and every time she always left her wanting more. At first she was confused and a little worried. No one was supposed to be able to reach her there, no one. Not even Kiyo. Yet this person managed to do so, how she didn't know but she couldn't bring herself to push the presence away. It was after the first time she was wrapped in the folds of her embrace did she realize how much this person had become a _necessity_ in her life. Just like a fish needed water, just like a person needed air and even if the day came where she couldn't feel her touch, it was enough simply being in her presence.

This stranger filled her thoughts, and consumed her attentions. Even today drinking her morning tea, Shizuru was wondering where the presence came from, how it could make her feel so much in such a short time and then… she came.

Kuga-san.

Shizuru didn't recognize her at first but after looking at her, hearing her words, seeing her reactions there was no doubt in her mind. She had…the same flare, the same colors. The same presence. Not even the best writers in the world could describe the joy she felt at that moment. At least until she remembered why Kuga-san came in the first place.

It was just too much to finally see that presence she had longed to meet in person…and to see her come for Kiyo... She just got so frustrated with it. Of seeing what she could have had… always what she _could_ have had…

It was true, Shizuru was envious of her. Kiyo always turned her wishes into action as if there was nothing to it… but it was so much more difficult for her. Kiyo was always the one who reaped the benefits; she always kept all of the fond memories. It was her that had to deal with the eventual backlash; she was the one who had to watch them leave. It took years of abuse to understand that she had to be strong. That it didn't matter what came her way that she could be ready, that she could_ most definitely _be prepared for it. Shizuru could make it so she would never feel any pain, where nothing could affect her. Eventually, she had to choose between her feelings or her ability to function and survive properly in reality.

Is it obvious what she decided to choose…?

Shizuru had to lock herself away from the world, away from prejudiced eyes until she could walk back without fear of judgment. Where there was no constant uncertainty, where she was in control so would never have to worry again about pain and where she could support herself throughout life without being a burden to the few who stayed by her side. But within the recesses of her restrained heart… she wanted to savor what it was like to truly **live**.

To feel the calm, peaceful freedom of simply walking down the street… viewing the blossoming scenery, without worrying about something that might trigger a 'change'.

To feel the warmth of companionship form in her chest… while having a pleasant conversation with newly found friends.

To feel the ticklish, breathlessness of a laugh and that feeling of inexplicable joy being completely open and free… beside someone who she loved.

To walk, to talk, to laugh…These simple things, that were always taken for granted so easily… so was it so wrong for her to want to be able to have even a portion of what Kiyo had with Natsuki?

_Natsuki… _

That was her name. The name of the presence in her dream that came to mean so much. It wasn't fair. _She… she was mine. She came to me. She cared for me. She… loved me. __**It just wasn't fair.**_

… _But… should I fell so bitter? It was…just a dream, after all…_

_Natsuki doesn't know me. She doesn't want me. She doesn't need me. She doesn't lo…_

Shizuru stopped her train of thought. I didn't matter. In the end, none of it mattered. Her wishing and dreams meant nothing…and through all her, envy and jealousy, she couldn't deny that Kiyo…was still a part of her… that she couldn't go on in a world without her. She was still and will always be her constant companion and… her friend. Even if it was in the most inferior sense of the word.

In this world where places and nearly all people are always certain to come and go, where there is so much insecurity and pain… there is only one stable fact in **her** world. They may argue and fight but in the end the only thing they really had was each other… and through all her egotism it was a fact Kiyo had come to understand as well. For Shizuru, Kiyo will never abandon her and for Kiyo, Shizuru will never leave her… and Shizuru was positive that they shouldn't let a person who walks out so easily ruin their world. At least she was mostly positive... deep inside her heart there was no denying that Shizuru truly wished for the green-eyed beauty to stay by her side.

_Kiyo please listen…what I did was for our benefit. I gave her the chance to try and she…s-she left. She gave up…_

**…**

_Do you honestly think she could be happy with us? With you…with me…? Because that is what she will get if she stays, and you know well it won't only be just that._

_Kiyo…?_

**………**

Shizuru could hear no words but she could feel… immense anger. Kiyo's fury spread across her body from the end of her toes to the tips of her fingers sending white-hot shivers along the length. It was so intense the young lady began feeling waves of nausea. Through her silence Kiyo sent chilling threats. She was so angry she couldn't form words to say them. If she could have come to the surface it would be certain that every object in the room would have been torn to shreds.

Shizuru's hands began trembling and her cup clattered noisily against its saucer. Cautiously, she placed the teacup back on the side table next to her. With her hands now free she held one in the other, hoping to stop their shaking. When that attempt wasn't successful, the young lady used both her shaky hands to massage her pulsating temples. Clenching her eyes closed, her bows furrowed in concentration, she tried to focus the pain and trembling into submission. Miss Maria walked into the room and stood worrying beside the chair's quivering occupant.

"Are you alright, ojou-sama? Did that woman cause you too much stress?"

"It's alright Miss Maria, everything's alright. It needed to be addressed. I'm just having problems, dealing with… " Pain shot through her skull centering itself on her forehead.

_…Kiyo…_

"…I see….So it _was_ Kiyo who she really came to see."

"Yes, it was."It took several moments but with extreme deliberation, the pain slowly ebbed away, a dull throbbing settling in its place. Shizuru opened her eyes, and eased herself back into her chair, her hands resting on her lap once more regaining her controlled posture.

"I-I thought it would be best if I got her out of the house as soon as possible. Kuga-san said she wanted Kiyo so… I gave her to her." Miss Maria gave her a scandalized look. Shizuru smiled fondly at her, and an empty laugh of amusement voiced itself from her throat.

"Don't get the wrong idea I simply told some…adverse things about her. Though not **entirely** true, not untrue either. Kuga-san knows about the little deal we have. She knows everything but not of the _other_ main reason behind it. I'm sure if she knew, Kuga-san probably wouldn't have left. However now … I'm not sure it was the right choice." _The tactic barely worked at all, she was so quick to defend her… and she… seemed so broken… when I finished…_

"Ojou-sama, you made the right decision to defeat whatever hope she had that a relationship could ever exist. A girl like that would do you no good; she would never give the effort necessary to deal with our problems here, and she'd most likely follow in Kiyo's wild behavior." The maid reassured Shizuru. Her only response was the return of the depressed look from earlier. _That wasn't why I was regretting the decision…_

Seeing her unhappy mood, Miss Maria decided to give her mistress some time to herself. Making sure Shizuru had everything she needed; she made her way to the door running the last of the scheduled chores for today in her head.

"…It was her, Maria."

The elderly maid stopped mid-step and turned around looking at her mistress in confusion.

"Ojou-sama?"

"The reason why I couldn't sleep when I came this morning. Those flashes of memory I had. They where of her, I'm positive." Realizing that she was referring to earlier that morning on her arrival, Miss Maria returned to Shizuru's side as the young lady looked yearningly out the window.

"I highly doubt that 'gleams of green and soothing warmth' suit that delinquent."

"Did you see her eyes?"

"I did, and they _were_ green." Shizuru closed her eyes, trying to savor the image of those fierce emerald eyes into her mind…before she forced herself to forget them. _They were the most beautiful deep green eyes I've ever seen._

"But I can't imagine soothing warmth coming from that girl, or any warmth for that matter."

"She said… she wanted all of me. In that moment I felt that familiar warmth. I felt it in the deepest part of me. The look on her face when she left, Maria… " Shizuru recalled that longing glance and it pained her to see such a sad look. _I didn't want her to go… not like that… but if she had waited any longer I highly doubt I could have stopped myself from begging her to stay…_

The maid gave her mistress a concerned glace, knowing full well what Shizuru had always desired and never been able to have.

"Yet… still she drove away." And knowing how many times she has been disappointed. _Oujo-sama can't get her hopes up on this girl…it will only cause her suffering…_

"Yes… in the end your right… it's for the best." Shizuru struggled to hide her feelings but painful stings twinged in her heart after hearing her maid's words. Those words rang in her ears, further reminding of her of the abandonment.

"I wouldn't want her to get hurt once things start becoming chaotic. But it's… too bad, I would have liked to spend some time with the one who seemed to tame the unruly Kiyo." What was the matter with her? Hadn't she become immune to these attachments along time ago? Hadn't she??...but Shizuru knew it only hurt more because she wanted the dark-haired girl to stay.

_How…How did she sneak into my heart…? How did she become the exception to my resolve...? But…maybe… for just this moment, I can let myself…remember her. Let myself believe that I can have her memory always. Those smooth-looking dark locks that I wanted to run my fingers through. Her beautifully alluring face. Her expressive jade eyes that bore into me with such innocence, hope, and sincerity… those tempting lips…_

This was bad. VERY bad. What is she thinking!? She couldn't become attached to a stranger! She had to reaffirm her decision! These desires couldn't exist! Everything she had worked so hard for would be ruined! They had to be erased before her mind was driven into turmoil.

_No, I was right, I __**know**__ I was right, I made the right decision. It is better that she stay away from me! She can't help me, no one can help me. I can barely help myself. _

_It is better she stays away. From me… from my selfishness…from my… abnormality. _

_She deserves to find happiness…I…can't give her that, nor any alter of mine. It __**is **__better,… for my sake…_

…_and for hers as well. _

Seeing her several emotions pass under her furrowed brows, Miss Maria placed a comforting hand on her mistress's shoulder then left Shizuru alone with her thoughts, hoping that she will have the strength to sort through the confusion. With one more concerned glance she closed the door behind her.

The clock ticked, counting the seconds that passed.

Sitting in the emptiness of the room, Shizuru sat still and concentrated on her breathing. With every intake of air, she gathered all her strength and will… and with every exhale she locked away all distractions and unneeded emotions.

Her insides trembled.

_W-what…? Why…why isn't it working… it always worked before…?_

The technique she had used to focus her mind and gather unnecessary emotions was failing. Was it possible that Kiyo was blocking her?! She had never done so before… but… no… this wasn't Kiyo's doing, if it was she'd be in much more pain. Flashes of feelings overwhelmed her, lingering caresses, intoxicating smells, burning desires…

It was herself. She was stopping herself.

Shock coursed though her. It was an unbelievable fact. Simply unbelievable… but when she tried once more, it happened again. She focused everything, from her dreams to this new encounter and forced it the back of her mind but at the last moment she held onto a scrap of memory. She couldn't help herself… it was just a small thing about her precious person, nothing that could do any real damage. But…that was all it took to bring it all back. If anything having her actual image only caused her to hold onto the memories more desperately.

_I-I don't want her. I don't need her. She means absolutely nothing!_

As much as she repeated these words to herself, Shizuru felt as if they were simply the noise of static in her mind trying to form themselves into the sound of words, words that had no meaning.

_I don't-! I…I…what is wrong with me...?_

_I will have to keep trying. In time, it will be easier. When the pain becomes stronger, it will be __**much**__ easier._

Weary, worried, and frustrated she took her warm tea from the table and held it in her hands. Taking a strong whiff, she allowed the tea's pleasant scent to calm her agitated nerves.

_Kiyo will never let me rest after this, she was never one to look at the bigger picture… but…_

_I'm surprised, I am actually pleased with something she's done for once…because if she hadn't, I never would have been able to see her…to feel her __**physical**__ presence… to see those eyes in more then just memory from a dream… _

_Maybe now that I have somewhat satisfied that reckless obsession, those dreams will stop coming._

_I…I'm glad. As painful as this was I'm glad that I saw her… even, if I can only allow myself to savor it for this one time._

_--_

Natsuki walked into her apartment distracted. Turning on the lights she headed for the living room, tossing her helmet next to the TV she drearily observed the time was mid afternoon from the clock on the wall. Immediately she thought that this was by far the worst morning she had ever had, and that was saying a lot. The biker threw her keys randomly toward her coffee-table hearing them fall off the side; she dully acknowledged their new position and collapsed herself on the couch.

_This is how it ends… It's normal right, break ups are supposed to suck… but still…What am I thinking! It was what I planned from the start; I should be happy that it's… finally over. _

Turning herself around, she stared into the ceiling. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong, but what could she do about it. The dark-haired girl knew that her lover was the reason for her heartache but there was something else there lingering in the depths of her mind, waiting… practically screaming to be released. A pained looked crossed Natsuki's face and her eyes narrowed.

"…Kiyo…"

Hours seem to pass lying on the couch and with each hour she felt more and more hollow. It came to the point where she just didn't feel anything anymore. A part of her was pleased, really. As long as her mind was blank, she didn't have to dwell on what happened. She finally managed to attain that 'special' place where nothing mattered.

In her deep focus, it didn't occur to her that it started raining until she faintly heard the pit-pat of water drops hitting against her window…

…_it's raining… jeez, how cliché…_

In her musings, she could stop her mind from wandering, remembering the last time she was in the rain.

**Flashback**

The summer night air was warm, as the rain cascaded down from the sky; its drops landing on the lush green leaves of the park, filling the air with sounds of the shower. Not far, under the safety of the outside-table's roof, stood two women staring at the rain after being trapped by the sudden downpour. The chestnut–haired beauty gazed into the night and closed her eyes absorbing her surroundings in all its entirety.

"Have you ever danced in the rain, my Natsuki…?" Shizuru (Kiyo) glanced at her companion from the corner of her eye.

"No! Why would I? I'd be too sick to get up in the morning the next day." The dark-haired biker looked at the women beside her. She was leaning against the table, and her hands rested behind her on its edges. Her long curvaceous legs could be seen beneath her skirt, causing pale fingers to itch for a touch. Full, red lips smiled into the distance making pearl ones long for a fiery kiss. But with all her beauty it was her chest that rose and fell that struck Natsuki the most. Her lover's breathing that reminded her that there was a person in this world that could take her breath away every time she looked at her.

Not realizing the attention, the crimson beauty laughed at her love's brash response.

"Natsuki let me share something with you, if you only think about the consequences you'll never experience the joy one moment can make." Before Natsuki could stop her, Shizuru gave her a devious smile and ran into the heavy shower, laughing at the biker's dumbfounded look.

"Are you crazy?! Get out of the rain Shizuru!"

"Not unless you come and get me…" Using her charms, the beauty moved her finger to motion her over, smiling that devious smile of hers all the while. Natsuki tried to give her an annoyed look but she ended up chuckling at her playfulness.

"Ok fine, you asked for it."

She ran after her.

In no time she became just as soaked as her lover, but she really didn't care. She didn't care if she got sick, she didn't care about any consequence… all that mattered was her and Shizuru.

And it felt liberating.

Natsuki vainly tried to capture the girl but it seemed as if she was never close enough. Shizuru was in the biker's sight the entire time but she always made sure she was just out of reach. She would twirl and sway to an unheard rhythm. With every turn and twist the trickles of rain on her body would surround her in shimmering droplets, and it was as if a water nymph had come out to play. Natsuki watched her in awe…of her beauty, of her grace, of simply everything that she was and everything she had come to mean to her. She had simply become,

…_**My**__ Shizuru…._

Gentle warmth and adoration filled her heart at her unsounded statement. She was exciting, fun, and intoxicating. In a way she reminded her of her precious Ducati, she was dangerous but the ride was worth it because every time she was with her, she felt free.

God, Shizuru was all that and more.

Noticing her distraction the water nymph dashed toward the trees and giggled as she ran.

"OI!" Natsuki laughed as she ran after once again. As soon as she reached the tree filled area, she looked around but couldn't see the crimson beauty anywhere…

"Shizuru? Hey Shizuru, where are you!?"

Suddenly she was pulled roughly from her back, landing against the tree behind her, the biker caught sight of her lover as she moved swiftly in front of her and pinned her into its bark. Havoc overwhelmed Natsuki's senses as Shizuru pressed every luscious inch of her body into her.

"Well it seems I've won. I think my Natsuki has forgotten why she ran into the rain in the first place."

"No. I haven't." With a triumphant grin, the biker then pulled Shizuru even closer to her, grabbing her by the waist.

"Got you."

The crimson beauty chuckled in amusement.

"So you have."

They kissed slowly at first until it evolved into an all consuming passion with a nearly unquenchable desire leading them on. The world around them encircled in a hazy mist, with the rain still continuing to fall.

**End of Flashback**

Instead of pleasure that memory use to bring, all Natsuki felt… was indescribable pain. There was so much longing, so much sadness; she suffered so much just thinking about her. The dark-haired girl reached to her chest, as if the motion could relieve her of the ache inside her. Unfortunately, she had forgotten that even there her love's presence still remained. She flinched as her touch stung her wound, a wound her crimson beauty had made over her heart. Kiyo was clever… it seemed that the injury had done its job. Natsuki knew even more then before, how much her heart still belonged to her.

An image of her lover flashed in her mind, and longing once again claimed Natsuki's heart. Then suddenly something new emerged. Her devilish eyes softened no longer containing her piercing gaze but converting into eyes that glimmered softly with heartrending pain. Her once cunning grin changing as well, lowering into a sad smile…it was her…Viola Shizuru. Why was she thinking about her? They were completely different. They had nothing in common. That was true…wasn't it? Ugh, why was she even concerned about her? Why did she care... why did it matter…but why…why…why was she so sad?

_Shizuru are you alright… What was happening to you when I was in that room… were you in pain? Does that happen often? Do you always ride it out alone? The things you must have gone through… Shizuru… do you feel as lonely and lost as I do right now?_

Natsuki reached into the air, her hand stretched toward the images face as if to caress the pain away. There were so many things she didn't know. So many unanswered questions. The biker felt an hard ache pound in her chest…she wanted…she wanted this image to tell her, her deepest fears…her most desired wishes… but most of all…

Natsuki wanted her to smile.

_I want to see you happy Shizuru. Can't I …can't I be the person that makes you happy?_

This was something different, yes, and at the same time she couldn't help but feel like she wasn't looking at another person at all. The biker felt nostalgic; to her she was just seeing something new in the same person. Everyone had a good and bad side. Everyone could be serious or playful. This person, this Viola Shizuru, was just another part of her lover that she could tell…she was already beginning to adore.

This was something different, yes, but with everything that she is, Shizuru…Kiyo… she was still …so beautiful.

"**Can you continue to love her with the knowledge that there are parts of her that will never love you in return…?"**

_No…wait. Don't say that! You haven't even gotten to know me yet! Why did you turn me away so easily? Why did you leave me… WHY DID YOU GIVE UP __**LIKE I WAS NOTHING**__! _

"**DAMMIT!!**"

Natsuki quickly rose from her couch, grabbed the first thing she could reach and flung it across the room and it shattered against the wall in a gratifying crash.

Natsuki hated it. She hated this feeling of helplessness that the unbearable sadness and longing brought her, it just wasn't fair! She hated the fact that this whole situation affected her so much! Hated how she could do nothing to stop the pain!

Natsuki was right in the beginning. She should have ignored Kiyo and kept driving. She should have never approached her… she should have never looked into that window. **She should have never cared**. The biker's life would have been so much easier if she had never met her, and taken that ridiculous chance.

The dark-haired girl stared at the shattered remains of her unwashed plate from yesterday.

She could feel it, in the back of her mind her true feelings leaking into the forefront of her thoughts.

…_I… nt… r…_

Natsuki tried desperately to suppress it. She didn't want to know! She didn't want to hear it! Natsuki just wanted to stay angry!

_I…wt…er_

NO! Dammit! NO! WASN'T IT ENOUGH THAT SHE COULDN'T STOP THE PAIN!! Yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't suppress the screaming yearnings of her heart.

_I…want…her…I want her. I want to be with her…I miss her…all of her…_

Tears she didn't know she was forming fell down her face as her chest ached all over again. Natsuki felt as if she was being torn apart from the inside. With her heart and mind at war with one another she didn't know what was going on in her own body anymore.

_Dammit! Dammit!! DAMMIT!! Why!? …Why…_

A part of her itched to move, to just drive and go somewhere, anywhere. But what little she did know about herself right now was where her wandering would have her end up.

_……Why?_

Why did she want to try? Why was she **forcing** herself to stay put?! She shouldn't _have_ to force herself! It was stupid to fight when there was no way in hell she could win. Shizuru said it herself! Even if Kiyo did care about her, which was questionable at this point, Shizuru… would never… want her. Wouldn't that mean that, there would be pieces of Kiyo that hated her or more like because Shizuru didn't care for her, it was impossible that Kiyo loved her. Natsuki raised her hands and pulled at her hair.

_GAH! Too much thinking! It's all just too much SHIT!_

Natsuki sat herself down on the couch, her hands still clutching her hair as she stared into the ground. Suddenly, she felt vibrations from her phone in her pocket. Not really in the mood for conversation, the dark-haired girl ignored the call and continued her staring. She wondered… if she looked at that piece of floor long enough, would it dull her mind and help make her memories disappear. Again, Natsuki went to her 'special place' and her feelings and thoughts thankfully went out of arms reach.

_It doesn't matter. It's all over, just… over._

The Biker's phone rang again, this time the infamous Darth Vader ringtone sprung from the device, signaling the call of dread, because the only person who had that ringtone always brought her trouble. Pulling it out of her pocket and stared at her phone wondering why Nao would call her. Though still not in the mood for a conversation, Natsuki hoped that Nao would somehow get her mind off of what happened so she answered the call.

"Yeah…"

"About time! Weeellll, you sound like shit…went that bad huh?" _Ugh, so much for that…_

"If that's all you're calling for I'm hanging up."

"Whoa hold on! Look I don't know what happened but by the sound of it you could really get it off your chest."

"…"

"Cum'on, what's the worse that could happen, that ,well, hasn't already. Just answer the question."

"It went bad, happy…"

"See that wasn't so hard. So was she cheating?"

"No"

"…oookkk, but she did something horrible to make you feel this bad?"

"No…" _She did lie to me about the business trip, but she had a _real_ good explanation…_

"Okkk. Then you guys made up?"

"…No."

"Then what the hell?! I'm trying to be nice! Give me an answer with more then two letters! Don't waste my ti-"

"Is it supposed to hurt this badly, Nao?"

"…"

"Is it supposed to hurt this much…? I… I just can't stand it Nao, and I don't know why."

"I…I can't take this…I HATE this! I don't want to feel any of this anymore!" Natsuki squeezed her eyes closed, and standing up she punched her fist into the nearest wall. The biker **forced** herself to get angry; it was all so much easier if she was angry.

"I just want it all to disappear! I just want to forget about everything!! Forget about HER!! I don't want anything to do with her! SHE CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE! I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO HER! I WANT HER OUT OF MY LIFE, I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY-!"

"NATSUKI! NATSUKI!!...Look at what you're doing. Does any of this look familiar to you?"

"…"

"Your being a coward and giving up…just…like…_her_." Natsuki's eyes shot open.

"Stop thinking like that! The Kuga I know wouldn't be sitting and whining she'd do something about it! The Kuga I know has never given up on anyone or anything 'cause she knows what it feels like to be left behind. Don't give me this crap about, 'it's too hard' or 'it hurts,' don't tell me excuses! Fuck that retarded mind of yours and answer me something useful! What is it that you _really_ want?"

"Do you want to let her go?"

……_**No……**_

"Do you regret the time you spent together so much?" Natsuki looked up toward the ceiling, her pained eyes once again forming unshed tears.

…_**No…**_

"Do you really want to forget about her?"

Her chest suddenly tightened. Natsuki had gained so many breathtaking memories in such a short amount of time, both good and bad. She had wanted to forget everything but… Natsuki had memorized the contours of her face, she had memorized the sparkle in her eyes… from the way she smiled and spoke, to her alluring scent and taste even to the sounds she would make when they where alone. To forget about her completely… seemed far worse than living with her memory.

"Are _**you**_ going to abandon the one you love?"

_What am I doing?! I-I left her…god, I left Kiyo __**and**__ Shizuru. I didn't even try! I just let myself get worn down! I want to go! I want to see them, I want to see her! They might act different but they're still the same person. How can I say that I loved her when I didn't love all of her! GAH! I was so focused on me that I didn't even try to fight for her!_

_It's true…I'm doing the same thing… when the pain got too unbearable…she left. I'm doing the exact same damn THING! BAKA!!_

Natsuki stumbled as she grabbed her keys, running toward the door she grabbed her helmet and put her phone back in her pocket.

On the other side of town a surprised Nao looked at her phone and noticed the 'call ended' sign flashing on its screen. A knowing smirk grew on her face.

"Hey Nao! Did you manage to get a hold of Natsuki or is she too bummed out to go to our Karaoke party tonight?"

"I think she finally got some sense knocked into her. She's not coming, not that I blame her." A 'yes, I'm a genius look' displayed itself on her face and Mai caught on to her meaning.

"Finally, she's not going to let what happened before stop her from doing something new. Well since she's not here your going to have to take her place!" Mai shoved the microphone into Nao's face; her expectant eye's waiting for her to take it.

"Get… that… thing… the HELL away from me." Nao raised her hand to her face; her nails reflected the lights displaying their sharpness. The singing-fanatic backed away, slowly raising her hands in defense, making sure she never turned her back on Nao.

"Hehehe Oh you know I forgot, I already promised the first song to somebody. Uh, Mikoto! Let's sing a duet!"

_I got a feeling I'm gonna regret helping that crazy chick, but that idiot can handle it. Ok, now this is the __**last**__ time I'm gonna play hero, yeah this time for sure, but that girl can be such a baka sometimes. Ahh well, I'll just have to make sure I put her in some horrible and incredibly embarrassing situations later…_

_Go get her you dumb dog..._

--

Even through her leathers, Natsuki could still feel the biting cold, and the rapid points of pressure of the rain that pounded her body. Still, she increased her speed. She gave a determined glare from behind her dark visor as if daring the rain to storm harder.

_I was selfish. I kept worrying about getting hurt, and I ended up hurting the person I cared about. Was that the pain Shizuru felt? Were you in pain Kiyo? You were probably furious with me weren't you? I'm sorry. I hurt you because I wanted to leave and that was something you made very clear that you didn't want._

_I kept trying to think it out and ignore everything else when all that time, what I wanted was you. No matter what happened._

Natsuki's bike streaked across a turn.

_I'm still scared to watch you leave…terrified really…but I'd rather spend as much time as I can with you. You tried to show me so many times before Kiyo… in your own little ways… to hunt for every moment…because you never know if it could be your only chance. _

_Shizuru… I don't know what happened to you but let me stay by your side. I want to be there. Next to you._

_My feelings for Kiyo…The things I felt for Shizuru… I won't let them pass me by. Not anymore._

_I've decided. My head can go to hell. I'm getting what I want, and what I want is you._

_So…Shizuru get ready 'cause there's no way I'm gonna let you go now!!_

Natsuki fiercely gripped the handles of her bike, her bike roaring as she sped through the unforgiving rain.

--

The Victorian house started coming into view, as Natsuki entered the long drive way. At a glace she saw lights shining through the windows. Good they were still awake. Natsuki began slowing down from her earlier adrenaline induced speed but unfortunately, she forgot one important thing about this house.

_SHIT! I can't stop! This DAMN GRAVEL ISN'T GRIPPING THE TIRES!! _

The dark-haired girl lost control of her bike and it fell skidding across the ground. The Biker's leg was caught between the earth and motorcycle, her left side dragged across the gravel until she was torn free by the friction. Natsuki was unharmed for the most part thanks to her helmet and leathers, but she looked up just in time to see her precious Ducati slam against the decorative waist length brick wall. There was a sickening crash but thank god her bike was still intact.

Natsuki rose from the ground and lifting her visor, inspected herself. Small tares where scattered along her left side revealing scrapes in their openings. She moved her arm and leg hissing at the throbs and pin-prick stings emanated along their lengths. _Ahh…damn…_

Not far from her the front door of the home quickly opened and Miss Maria took a wandering glance over the front yard, but once she saw Natsuki her gazing stopped. She looked at her then at the Ducati that laid on the ground as well as several scattered bricks. Her face registered the situation and she stood tall with her hands in front of her one over the other. The look on her face was one similar to an annoyed mother finding her child writing on the walls.

Natsuki took a moment to look guiltily at the floor but she refused to allow what happened to change her conviction, with certainty in her eyes and a slight limp she walked to the door.

"I need to see Shizuru."

"Kuga-san, I thought it was explained to you, that the Shizuru you're referring to is not here."

"I know, and I need to talk to her to, but I'm here to talk to Shizuru…Viola Shizuru."

"And as I said before, I believe it was explained to you as well that you are longer permitted to enter this house." With a free hand, Miss Maria grabbed the doors handle in preparation.

"Yeah…but look I just need to see her, can't she spare some time to see me again?"

"You have overstayed your welcome Kuga-san. I am asking you nicely to leave, now."

"I get it, she doesn't want to see me, but it's important! I have to talk to her!"

"This is your last warning."

"I'm not leaving until I see her!"

There was no way Natsuki was going to allow this woman to stop her when she was so close to her goal. She walked closer to the door with the intent of pushing it open but as soon as she placed her hand on the door; Miss Maria grabbed hand twisting her wrist and pushed her away from the door with a palm strike to the chest.

Natsuki stumbled back, disbelief evident on her face. _She…she hit me? SHE HIT ME!! What the hell!!_

She wasn't sure if the woman was seriously considering threatening her with violence. So wary, she decided to test the waters.

Natsuki marched to the door again, this time grabbing Miss Maria's shoulder. It was only there for less then a second before her wrist was once again twisted and again she pushed away from the door, this time with her elbow striking vertically to her chin followed by a swift kick that led her to the ground.

_G-God DAMN! Is she trying to kill me!! That's IT! Now I'm pissed! _

Natsuki looked at the maid. Even with all the movements she made, startlingly, not once did she move from the door's opening.

"You can continue to try, Kuga-san but you will not get in this house." Still standing in the front door, the elderly women reached to her side and pulled a wooden waist-length cane. She held its top firmly in front of her and pounded the ground to emphasize her point.

_Shizuru…I'm going to see you no matter what! So Fine, you wanna go grandma, let's go!_

--

Shizuru was sitting in a cherry wood chair on the long dining room table. Not far from her, stood two young maids standing side by side with nervous looks. Still waiting for dinner to be served, Shizuru looked around waiting for an answer to the sound that interrupted her evening.

"What happened out there? Do you know Nina?"

"It's alright ojou-sama, Miss Maria went outside to see what happened. I sure whatever took place, she'll be able to deal with it," said a maid with unruly black hair. She wore a serious expression, her atire neatly maintained. Beside her stood a girl with sapphire eyes and thin braids that extended down to her waist.

Suddenly another loud bang came emanating from the hallway.

"What is goi-uhh" _Not again…_

"Ojou-sama? Are you alright?" The blue-eyed girl looked concerned at her ojou-sama, worried on what the problem might be this time.

"I-its nothing Arika, I'm just a little worried"

More than anything Shizuru didn't want to allow anyone, and that applied double for her staff, to know how much trouble Kiyo and her temperament was causing her. After all they could do nothing to stop the pains, so why worry them over something they couldn't fix but with each passing second it was becoming more and more difficult to hide. Somehow she had to get them away from her if only so she could adjust herself to the pain. The young mistress could see it all happening, Arika would foolishly run around the house searching for anything that could comfort her returning only briefly to see if everything she brought was going to good use, then leaving again for something else she seemed to just remember. Nina would make sure everything around her was in place and with in reach… then she would constantly ask if everything was alright or if she needed anything. All the while, Maria would sit silently beside her watching them run around like idiots. Shizuru herself would watch them fuss over her, and wonder how she could be so lucky as to find people who could care so much for her.

"There's probably just something rummaging in the garbage. Or maybe were being robbed or MAYBE someone is robbing our garbage!" Arika's eyes grew wide and watery, as if the stealing of their garbage was truly a tragedy.

"Well thank you Arika for that great deduction." Nina stared unimpressed and turned her head away from the redhead. Of course without her watching, Arika took the chance and stuck her tongue out at the snobbish girl.

"In any case, at least it's Miss Maria whose handling it."

"Arika, could you please see if dinner is ready?"

"Oh yes of course, ojou-sama!" Nina watched the girl go, and returned her attentions to Shizuru.

"Honestly, why do you keep her around?"

"For the same reason I keep you Nina."

"…Because I'm very fond of both of you." Both Arika and Nina were very silly and more trouble then she could handle but every day they found a way to make her smile, even if they didn't realize they were doing so with their antics and care.

"Now I think that you should go make sure Arika doesn't hurt herself. We don't want a repeat of what happened last time, now do we?"

"O-of course not ojou-sama! Excuse me" With a small blush, Nina left to make sure Arika didn't do somthing foolish, like cause tonights entire dinner to end up on the ceiling.

_Ahh… Kiyo… _

Again Kiyo remained silent allowing Shizuru to feel her displeasure but now that both Arika and Nina were no longer in sight, Shizuru could focus the pain into submission once more.

_You can't win this argument, Kiyo. I stand by my actions and so… I refuse to lose._

--

… _I underestimated her… For being so old that granny can sure hit hard…_

Natsuki's helmet felt heavier then usual as she rose from her position on the ground, feeling the tenderness of the areas Miss Maria struck. Her side throbbed, her muscles ached, and she felt the cold from the rain sink into her bones, but there was no way she was going to loose to a women three times her age. Natsuki sprinted to the door, her hands on guard, and as she reached the door again, she aimed for the maid's chest. In a swift motion, Maria lifted the cane and immediately redirected her punch into the door frame. Then twisting her wrist she jabbed her lower abdomen and with a rapid quarter turn, kicked her away from the door.

Natsuki flew back and slammed into the gravel. The dark-haired girl lay on her back, taking the chance to recover as the newly formed wounds throbbed as the rain poured around her. Natsuki moved her aching hand slowly, recoiling at the pain that shot through her knuckles…but nevertheless it moved, so that meant it wasn't broken, and that was all she needed. Natsuki rose again with a grunt, she sat on the gravel trying to ignore the pain. Her left hand touched the area of her chest where the jab and kick seemed to blend together in one big pounding. _That's definitely going to bruise…_

She looked up and gave the unmoving Maria a determined glare.

"Well, it seems you're more thickheaded then I thought you were. Its getting late so I'm afraid I have to finish this thoroughly." Again she reached inside the house, this time seizing an umbrella. Opening it she walked into the rain, her cane following her steps in her other hand. She stopped shortly before Natsuki.

The Biker sees this challenge and shakily stood, her legs trembling beneath her. After she gained her balance Natsuki straightened to her full height standing tall and proud. She glanced at the door behind the maid. _Shizuru…she's in there. She's so close I just have to get through that door!_

Maria followed the biker's gaze seeing where it landed.

"Before you do anything stupid that will force me to throttle you to the ground, like running for that door for instance." Natsuki's eyes quickly returned to Miss Maria.

"I'd like to know one thing... Why are you doing this? "

Natsuki spoke making sure that her voice didn't tremble with the pain she felt,

"Because it hurt… to say goodbye."

"I beg your pardon…"

"I don't know Shizuru… not this Shizuru, yet it still hurt when I said goodbye. I felt something when I saw her in that room… I-I wanted to know why she was so sad, why she was in so much pain… I just wanted to know her and I felt the same thing when I first saw Kiyo. I made the mistake of driving away then, but I got another chance. I don't think I'm lucky enough to get another one this time. So with all due respect, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!"

"I can assure you Kuga-san; you will not lay one finger in this door."

"Just watch me!"

Natsuki rushed for the door, but before she could take two steps, Maria stood before her once again blocking her way. Immediately she was attacked, forcing her to raise her arms in defense.

Her speed was impossible! It came to the point where the maid moved so fast that her movements became a blur and with each attack the biker became weaker and her vision became hazy. The only thing Natsuki could recognize where the jolts of pain across her body with each attack that landed on her form.

The maid just kept getting faster, and Natsuki couldn't understand how... it was after her third attempt to block that Natsuki realized the old women wasn't getting any faster but it was her that was getting slower. All of the attacks were concentrated on her upper body, forcing the biker to constantly have her knees bent to avoid them. It was then that Natsuki realized that she was spending twice as much energy, staying on guard! The biker had to think of something!

Natsuki did the only thing she could think of that would require too much on her already tired body. She made the width of her stance smaller. The smaller the stance, the smaller the movement, and with less movement the more control and energy she gained. Eventually, things started to come back into focus. _I have to find an opening, just one opening! Just enough so I can get through that door! _...Natsuki sharpened her eyes and focused on her opponent's body…

_**THERE!**_

Natsuki blocked the cane just before it jabbed her shoulder, having it land safely onto the outside of her raised forearm and moved it away from her body. Now Miss Maria was temporarily completely open for assault! Mimicking the woman's earlier technique, Natsuki slid her arm down the length of the cane to her opponent's hand. She quickly grabbed the women's wrist and twisting it, gave her the hardest kick she could muster.

Natsuki began running for the door, her breath shallow and ragged. It felt like everything was stopping her from reaching that door, the pouring rain, the round gravel, her damned tired body, but she forced herself to keep moving. Just a few more feet and she'd be there! She'd see Shizuru; she'd be with her in the same room again where even the air itself personified her sweet essence. _Kiyo! Shizuru…_

Fate sadly seemed to have other plans for the elderly women recovered far more quickly than the biker could have planned.

_That was…good. Kuga-san had a little more fight in her than I thought. Well, she has potential, but that still isn't good enough to get passed me._

With a flick of her wrist Maria tossed the cane into the air catching its opposite end and with a few quick strides she caught up to the weakened girl. Using the canes hooked end she latched onto Nastuki's foot that was raised in the sprint and with a hard yank forced the biker off balance.

Natsuki fell forward. She faintly heard Maria's quick steps but then there was no confusion as to what was happening when she felt she cane slam into her back. With that the maid finished her move, the final attack forcing the biker to fall that much harder to the ground.

Looking up Natsuki saw the door and the smooth hard-wood flooring inside the house not to far from her. She stretched her arm reaching for the door. The Biker knew that she wouldn't manage to put her whole body inside in her weakened condition but she just wanted to show that maid the she really could put a finger in that house.

The cane made a large _snap_ as it was brought down right in between her newly recoiled fingers and the door frame.

The dark-haired girl glanced up and saw the calm expression on the maid's face. She stared down at her almost as if she felt remorseful for her violence.

"Goodnight, Kuga-san." The door slammed before the fallen biker. The closed door looming over her in silent finality.

_I lost…Dammit….DAMMIT……_**Shizuru**_… I haven't said anything to you yet…_

The biker stayed on the gravel and tried to regain some stamina. That's when the thought occurred to her, surly Shizuru had heard the racket she caused, and perhaps she was still listening.

She struggled to rise again, using the door to brace herself. She walked away from the home, so she could easily be seen through the windows. The biker lifter her arms and strained to pull off her helmet. The dark-haired girl grunted, bending over she forced it off letting it fall freely to the ground and looked toward the lit windows of the house.

--

The nausea returned full force as Shizuru sat in front of her freshly served meal. She was tired and frustrated, for more than one reason, and she just wasn't in the mood to deal with Kiyo's temper tantrum.

"You're angry, I understand, but don't think for a moment that I don't know what you're planning but as per our deal, you can't go back to your life until my month is over and by that time…I don't think Natsuki will want to speak to you."

Nina and Arika who had been standing quietly beside the table watched as their ojou-sama once again had a conversation with her alter. Or in more general terms they watched her talk to herself. It was always an odd experience but they did their best and continued to remain impartial.

**Shizuru…how…**_**dare**_** you… when I get out, you can be sure that you will regret lying to my Natsuki and interfering with my life…**

"I do regret lying to her Kiyo, you aren't as bad as I made you to be, your intentions for the deal were good, for the most part… **but** everything else I said was the truth, you are forcing me into a situation I want out of... besides… Kiyo, the world, it's a cruel place. I've experience enough to know that much. It's better if we don't have contact with the outside world, at least for now. Or would you rather have her see us for everything that we are… and watch her leave you."

Shizuru felt a sudden pinprick in her chest, it was faint but she knew that feeling well… and she knew that it wasn't coming from herself.

**Stop your incessant babying! Do you honestly think I can not handle what is out there. I've been living out there for the passed YEAR! Why don't you let me judge what the world is like for myself! Natsuki…she was…My Natsuki… she was mine. **

Shizuru was struck by that statement. Hadn't she said that to herself earlier that day?

**She was MINE. SHE WAS **_**MINE, YOU BITCH**_**!! SHE BELONGED TO **_**ME**_**!! SHE WAS THE ONLY THING I EVER TOOK AS MINE!!**

"Kiyo that is enough. Control yourself."

**Control…? CONTROL!! That is all you ever think about isn't it, Shizuru. Control. **

"What is that suppose to mean?"

**Are you that blind? That control you use to maintain the **_**perfect**_** little mask of yours, so you can live in the world you despise.**

**I **_**hate**_** you… **

"Kiyo."

**I hate the way you think, I hate the way you act! You are nothing more than a machine that DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE!!**

**HOW DARE YOU TAKE HER FROM ME! NATSUKI IS MINE AND I REFUSE TO LET YOU TAKE HER FROM ME!**

Insults, insults, and more insults. Hasn't Shizuru been given enough? With everything that's already happened Kiyo just had to add oil to the fire. It seemed no matter what Shizuru said she couldn't get through to Kiyo. Shizuru felt as if she was talking to brick wall! She wasn't the only one suffering! The chestnut-haired girl released her increasing grip on the table and rubbed her temples in renewed frustration. That was it, she had lost that of her already thin patience.

"Tell me Kiyo, what do you intend to do? You know nothing you plan to do to me can succeed, we are the same person after all and as for Kuga-san why haven't you already tried to run after her. Is it because if you leave I will consider our deal broken and stop completing your assignments? Are you afraid to lose the key to your new life? Without my support you can't continue being my father's little lap dog…"

**DAMN YOU!! YOU KNOW THE REASONS I HAD FOR MAKING THAT DEAL SHIZURU!! BUT IF YOU PLAN TO BE UNGRATEFUL THEN PERHAPS I SHOULD LET **_**YOU**_** DEAL WITH HIM!**

"How many times do I have to tell you!? I didn't want anything to do with him!"

**AND YOU THINK SIMPLY AVOIDING HIM WILL GET HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE, HE IS TOO PERSISTNT FOR THAT!! HOW NAIVE ARE YOU!? **

"And what about you?! Do you think that Natsuki will simply return to your life as if nothing had happened!?

**I **_**know**_** my Natsuki, she **_**will**_** come back… and if she doesn't than I will FIND her and TAKE her back.**

"And you're calling me naive! She deserves better than you!"

**Oh and who would be better for her YOU!! HA! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!**

"I-I would have probably taken more care of her then you ever could… I would have savored each precious moment."

**AND YOU THINK I DIDN'T!!**

Shizuru arose from her seat, her hands slamming on the table and then gripping the fabric of tablecloth under them as she began to scream at no one. Both Arika and Nina took a step back at her eruption, astonishment plainly written on their faces. It had been a while since their ojou-sama had shown such powerful emotion.

"I KNOW you Kiyo! You may claim that you care but feelings like that must go **both** ways! You probably didn't even consider her feelings; you never stood by her side DID YOU! I would have never allowed her to feel so abandoned! I'm sure that was why… she was trying to _leave you_…"

**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!**

That piercing scream raged in her skull causing the stunned Shizuru to cover her ears, but that of course did little to help. It was with that scream that she realized what they were doing to each other and how far they had gone in order to hurt one another.

"K-Kiyo, KIYO! Stop! Calm down. We've argued enough for one day."

**DON'T TRY TO CALM ME DOWN SHIZURU! I HAVE GONE WAY PASSED MY BOILING POINT!!**

"Now do you see why I had to get her out of our lives? LOOK at us! We have never fought so viciously! She will only drive us back to how we were before Kiyo! How can we continue to move forward if our arguing continues to hold us back!?"

**DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!**

"Kiyo…"

**I want you to realize something… you don't know ANYTHING about her, do you hear me? You could never have even a portion of what we have already shared. Yes that's right; don't think I don't know what was going on in that little tea-filled head of yours. Tell me Shizuru, what is her favorite color?**

"I…uh…."

**Noo? How about her favorite condiment?**

"…"

**You can't can you… you didn't even know she had one… you don't know anything about her and you never will. Do you know why? Because it is **_**you**_** who will **_**always**_** hold yourself back, NOT me. **

"ENOUGH!"

Though not physical in nature, Shizuru could feel Kiyo storm away from her, slamming a metaphorical door behind her to a place where they both were separate from each other. Though Shizuru hated to admit that she couldn't handle her own alter, she was glad for the separation, it gave her the time to reflect on what had just happened in relative peace.

She lost her control. Shizuru wanted to hurt Kiyo, and so she used her little known insecurity and ironically in the end she received her own in return. And now… as strange as it may seem, she was ashamed at what she had done. The young Mistress had been trying to get along with her wild half but their views and decisions were so different. It was so difficult simply having a conversation with her, let alone coming up with a compromise on what to on their free time. It had taken a while, but there was a point in their relationship that a certain fondness for one another began to develop. Now it seems as if that has become nothing more than a distant memory.

_Kannin na. Kiyo I… am sorry, I didn't want to take the first thing you have ever deemed worthy to claim as your own but it had to be done. I had no choice._

A sick feeling formed in the pit of her stomach, their awareness of each others actions had been temporarily severed after their fight but she could still feel Kiyo raging anger consume her body. Of course Kiyo couldn't hear her apology, as long as they remained separated the only thing that connected them was emotions, and even that was only with the unconscious permission of the personality. Couldn't Kiyo feel her remorse? If she did, she certainly didn't give a crap about it.

_I-I just can't take this anymore…we are never going to get along are we…_

"Shizuru! HEY Shizuru! I'm talking to you!"

"Ara?"

_Is that, no… no it couldn't be!_

--

"Shizuru! HEY Shizuru! I'm talking to you!"

"I've only known her for a month but I guess Kiyo had more of an influence on me then I thought. She told me once… if I only think about the consequences, I'll never experience the joy one moment can make… I was so worried about getting hurt I didn't want to take the chance of getting more attached to her than I already was…but I was wrong! I was stupid! All my life I've been playing it safe, because I didn't want to get hurt!! But I never **once** actually lived my life because of that!"

"And then I met Kiyo and for the first time… I took a risk… and even though everything has gotten so messed up, I don't regret the time I spent with her, 'cause if I did… it wouldn't be any different then forgetting about her and everything she means to me. She became that one great thing that made living my life worth while. EVEN IF ALL I CAN HAVE ARE SOME MOMENTS! I WOULD RATHER HAVE THOSE FEW MINUTES, THEN TO NEVER EXPERIENCE THEM AT ALL!"

Inside the Victorian home, Shizuru stood beside the window, making sure she was out of view from the outside. The biker's voice was muffled by the rain but her words came as pure and as powerful as if she was standing right next to her. The chestnut-haired beauty stood there calmly with her arms laying one on top of the other across her chest and after listening to the biker's pleas, the young mistress had to say that more then anything… all she felt in her heart was despair.

_Kiyo…she came for Kiyo. Just like she said. Perhaps, I truly am the naïve one…_

With the pained and distant look that grew on her face, Miss Maria began taking steps to ensure her Mistress's safety. She moved an authoritative glance at both Nina and Akira then towards the windows, her eyes sending a silent command. In no time the young maids headed to each window and began closing their silken drapes. Shizuru did nothing to stop them.

"Dammit, don't you get it, Shizuru! That means **you** TO!

_W-what…? _The ladies eyes widened in disbelief, surely she misheard her. There was no reason for her to return, especially not for her, not after she had turned the green-eyed beauty away so coldly.

"Shizuru…I-I don't want to leave you. I don't want to leave you to suffer alone. I want to get to know you. I want to see what will make you laugh and I want to be there when you need to cry. Let me be there for you. I might not know you very well but I can tell that…you're lonely and that maybe you might want to get know me too. Can't you see it! Can't you see that…I'm here, _waiting_ for you…please, Shizuru don't let this moment pass you by. All you have to do is open the door."

By the time Natsuki was finished, the curtains of the first floor of the house had closed in every window.

…_No…_

Natsuki stared unwavering into the windows as if her look alone could cause them to draw open. Her fists clenched at her sides, and rain poured down her body. She waited but still there was no response. _She…isn't going to answer is she…?_

Natsuki needed a plan. No she needed anything! She went to her Ducati hoping it wouldn't fall to pieces and used all her strength to lift it off the ground.

_I can't give up, I-I won't… and I certainly don't want to give that… that woman the satisfaction…_

She tested her motorcycles' functionality and gave it some gas. Seeing that it was still working, if not severely damaged, she sighed and hung her head.

_I just don't k-know what else I can do today…and i-it's so cold…_

With the heat from her movement before vanishing, Natsuki's voice shook, her body trembled, and her teeth chattered. Her matted hair clung to her face, and drops of water descended down their stands cascading into the curves of her face. Natsuki was cold, she was sore and she was tired as hell but there was no storm that could extinguish the fire in her eyes as she looked back toward the house.

_I-I'm __**not**__ leavening tonight. I __**am**__ finding a way…somehow…._

--

I hope you guys liked it! YOU GUYS ROCK! But of course that goes without saying lol

I was wondering, um and I hope you don't think I'm an idiot for asking, but do you guy think I should get a beta? Would that help improve my writing? I was thinking of writing this one solo then maybe in my next story asking if anyone wants to be my beta. Well, tell me what you think!

Reviews are always welcome of course!! .


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